“FATMAN OF GREATNESS” (drama) 1 Minute

Posted on July 3, 2008
Filed Under 1 Minute Monologues, Male Monologues - Drama, Monologues | Leave a Comment

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Photo Courtesy KEVIN DOOLEY

Monologue Description: “FATMAN OF GREATNESS” is a drama about an actor telling off an artistic director of a theatre company.

Character Description: In this monologue, Fidelio speaks vehemently at the artistic director of his theatre company troupe. Fidelio does not agree with the methods and etiquette of how this artistic director treats the actors within the company. He calls it quits at the company.

FIDELIO:

You are so bloated with self importance, it sickens me. Waltzing around here like some sort of significant theatre genius. Oh, please! You walk around like a giant fat man of greatness, who hasn’t taken a shit in weeks!

(making fart noises with his mouth and tongue)

THHHRRRR! THHRRRR! THHHRRRR!

It’s no wonder you haven’t burst from all your genius! Strolling in and out of rooms, making these elaborant grand entrances—your nose concocted high in the air, with your chin leading the way—broad shoulders that you carry around like you are some sort of high priest of bigotry.

You disgust me! Instead of a nurturing environment where actors can grow in their craft, you denounce us and upstage us and command us with your so called brilliance. I am quitting the company. There is no future for me here sir and I happily and proudly leaving this place.

GLADLY, leaving this place and you can take your self-importance in one hand, pull out a pin in the other and POP yourself!!!

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“HIDING OUT” (serio-comedy) 3 Minutes

Posted on July 2, 2008
Filed Under 3 Minute Monologues, Female Monologues - Serio/Comic, Monologues | Leave a Comment

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Photo Courtesy JP TYLER

Monologue Description: “HIDING OUT” is a serio-comedy about thinking you know someone, when in actuality…YOU DON’T.

Character Description: In this monologue, Audra tells her friend Adrienne that the guy she was seeing had a girlfriend, unbeknownst to her

AUDRA:

The—errrr! I can’t even say his name! BRIAN!!! There, I said it.

(let’s out a steam of air)

I don’t know why I did this but I did it and now I regret it cause I look stupid but I’m good hearted and I did it because I felt bad, even though I now look like a giant imbecile!

(let’s out a steam of air)

Okay, so, obviously you know I’ve been dating Brian…it’s been like a month and we, well, I thought we were on our way to, you know, becoming boyfriend and girlfriend and all that…I mean, it just felt like that was the direction we were going in…I don’t know…this is like a nightmare!

(let’s out a steam of air)

So, I was REALLY mistaken! You will never believe this Adrienne. NEVER! NEVER! NEVER! I still don’t…I’ve been staying over his place recently and aw hell…let me just blurt it out!

HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND!!!

The son of a–bas—piece of—I just wanna kil—HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND ADRIENNE!!!

(she growls)

Can you believe it? Can you? Can you believe this? This is—I’m the moron, ME. Right here! (raises he hand) MORON! It was this morning, I stayed over his place again last night and then there was a ring, his doorbell rang…We were both in the bedroom and he got up and looked out his front window and he came running back into the bedroom, WHITE…he looked pale, milky white, SICK! I asked him what was wrong and he just bluntly said, “MY GIRLFRIEND! My girlfriend is here!”

I was like, “YOUR GIRLFRIEND?! WHAT?”

And he was like, “Yeah”

And I was like, “WHAT?!”

And he was like, “YEAH!”

And then he asked me to hide in his bureau closet…AND I WAS SO SCARED FOR HIM THAT I DID! There I am in my thong only, squatting in a small bureau and he begins throwing all my shit, my clothes, my pocket book, my shoes—hit me in the forehead–look, I have a bruise! And now I’m in this closet with all my stuff and I here her come into the apartment and she’s shouting , “Where is she?” Where is she?” And she sounded mean, I mean MEAN. I started shaking I was so scared. My heart was pounding. I hear her searching the place and he begins arguing with her and they get into this major fight and she leaves.

He comes back and I quickly get dressed. I told him what a scumbag he was and I left but then, when I went outside she was there waiting for me. And she grabbed my hair and starts spinning me around and around on the sidewalk…there were neighbors outside and they all got involved, pulling us apart. The bitch kicked me in the side of my rib and all I could do was cry. I didn’t know what the hell was going on.

I ran to my car, I was so ashamed and humiliated and I just wanted to die.

Can you believe this? This, this, this—NIGHTMARE!!!

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“0″ (drama) 1 Minute

Posted on July 2, 2008
Filed Under 2 Minute Monologues, Male Monologues - Drama, Monologues | Leave a Comment

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Photo By GAETON LEE

Monologue Description: “0″ is a drama about having the confidence to change the course of one’s dreary life.

Character Description: In this monologue, Marcuse talks to a friend about how he feels that his life is not what he wishes it would be. He discusses how he needs to make a conscious change.

MARCUSE:

You ever just stare at a dot on your ceiling? I have. I get so lonely sometimes that I actually found myself staring at a circle on my ceiling…just like a zero.

—In a way, a parallel…I identified with the zero. My eyes completely fixating on it, identifying with it…trying to understand it’s Goddamn meaning.

I began seeing something…I began reflecting the circular design on my ceiling in relation to my life. And that’s when I began seeing…

I began seeing my loneliness and I started thinking about everyone else’s loneliness and how we are all alone inside ourselves.

Madness is a lonely state of affairs. I’m not saying I’m crazy, although I am sure I must sound nuts as I talk to you but I am trying to somehow make a deeper understanding of things, without feeling too sorry for myself.

I wanted to jump through that zero on my ceiling…I wanted things to change…I wanted to experience anew…I was imaging a secret world, sort of like Being John Malkovich.

I thought about how my life is like a zero. How, things up until now have kind of come full circle for me.

I want to stop expanding this zero because it seems to keep growing, expanding, getting much bigger…it’s time I break the circular line and go in one direction…