2 A.M.

A short dramedy skit for two male actors.  If you are looking for more scenes, scripts and skits, visit scripts to find dozens and dozens more free material.

Motel Room.  Both men speak with heavy Russian-American accents.

Boris:  Ass fuck, you don’t screw this, see?

Zan: I don’t screw, other than your wife.

Boris: I shoot you dead, right here.

Zan: So…

Boris: You comment wife again, be last comment.

Zan: Don’t tell ass fuck.

Boris: Ass fuck? That is you, make mistake.

Zan: Ass fuck, I no ass fuck.

Boris: You make mistake like ass fuck, so you ass fuck it then.

Zan: I no ass fuck it.  No!

(pause.)

Boris: Put Looney Toones.

(Zan turns on television and plays an old dvd of the cartoon)

Shit. (points to tv) That you.

Zan: No…

Boris: You on t.v.!

(Boris laughs outloud)

Zan: No.

Boris: You the pig porky.  You the pig porky.  Ha ha ha.

Zan: Za-mohl-CHEE.  (pronounced ‘shut up’ in Russian)

(Boris starts snorting like a pig)

zat-KNEESS! (another way of saying ‘shut up’ in Russian)

Boris: I play you. Relax.  Have laugh.

Zan: Too much laugh.

(Boris’ phone rings)

(Zan quickly turns off tv)

‘ello?  Okay.

(Boris hangs up phone)

(to Zan)

2am.

Zan: 2am…

Boris: I’m go to sleep.

(Zan pulls out gun and shoots Boris in the chest)

Zan:  Go to sleep then…

(Boris falls back into a chair, holding his chest)

Boris: What you doing?  You…what you did?

Zan: 2am.

Boris: 2am?

Zan: …to kill you.  You make mad too many people.  Too many people don’t want business with you.

Boris: Ah…mmm.

Zan: Yes, I know.  You will bleed out fast, don’t worry.  I aimed for heart.

Boris: Jsss..zzzmmm, ehhh.

(Zan gets a few belongings together and places them inside his leather bag)

Zan: You will be fine.

(Zan leaves)

(Boris motions to get up from chair but collapses to the floor and dies)

Joseph Arnone

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