“Tender Mercies” (comedy) 2 minutes

Character: HANNAH
Description: Hannah tells her girlfriends about a date with Mr. Willoughby.
Gender: Female
Age:  40 

TENDER MERCIES!  He grabbed me and said that I was the woman of his dreams.  He kissed me on my mouth and then made a grab at my tender mercies!  And THAT’S when, despite my shock and anxiety…not to mention my own physical hunger, I SMACKED Mr. Willoughby right-across-the CHEEK.  I do believe I caught a piece of his nostril but that’s neither hither nor thither.

In an instant we both locked eyes and stared deeply and shyly into one anothers space.  We were completely and utterly transfixed by the spontaneity of such actions we both demonstrated.  So I did what any middle aged woman would do, especially one who was in dire need of some serious attention…I KISSED Mr. Willoghby ever so gently on his lips.  I could not believe the gall I had to display such movement.

Mr. Willoghby pulled away from me and I thought to myself, “Oh Boy, I am a terrible kisser, I knew it, I knew it, I knew it….just like when I kissed Bobby Findley in grade school and he told Mrs. Kline that he suddenly fell sick”  But something magical had happened.  Mr. Willoghby looked at me like Clark Gable in Gone With The Wind and said, “Mrs. Perby, I am sure that in all my years of living, no woman has ever kissed me so endearingly as you did just then”.  And with that he leaned in and kissed me like I’ve never been kissed.  I was whisked away on a red carpet somewhere far off in another world that I didn’t know existed.

(Hannah Sighs)

Oooooh what an evening that was…