“Back Talker” (serio-comic) 2 minutes

Character: DAPHNEY
Description: Daphney explodes on her girlfriend after finding out her roomate has been talking crap behind her back.
Gender: Female
Age:  26 

Stingy???  She calls me STINGY??  How dare she?  I cannot believe how she talks behind my back.  I took her in to be my roomate because she needed help.  Her boyfriend at the time threw her ass out, THE WHORE, and I felt sorry for her and took her into my place.  We were like sisters me and her…inseperable. 

The first few months we were doing fine.  We had it all down to a science.  But then she started getting sloppy.  She would leave piles of dirty laundry in her bedroom for weeks at a time.  It got so bad that one point the stench was carrying it self out into the dining room.  What an aroma?  Like feet and ass and sweaty arm pits combined.  If you smelt it, you would want to gag your brains out.

STINGY?  How-dare-she?  Just because I wouldn’t give up my Stella Dora cookies?  NOBODY eats those cookies.  I had to hunt for those cookies.  No one in this Godforsaken neighborhood had them.  Finally I found a cute little mom and pop grocery with like three item on the shelf and my cookies were one of them.

Did she forget to mention ALLLLL of the things I ever did for her?  One time I traveled with her out to Poughkeepsie, so she could go on a blind date!  Another time I went with her to the ghetto so she can score drugs.  Another time I helped her key up a car from a guy who made a sexual pass at her from her job.  Another time I almost drowned at the beach trying to save her from drowning.  Another time I totalled my car chasing down another car that stole her pocket book.  Another time I, I, I…oh I can’t catch my breath. 

(breathing deeply)  (regaining her breath)

I’m okay, don’t call an ambulance, just anxiety.  It’s just anxiety, I’m fine.  Happens all the time when I want to commit murder is all.  I’ll live. 

One time I founf bougars on the wall and then a week later, same kind of bougars on the front door knob.  Now you tell me, who tolerates that kind of shit?  She claims it wasn’t her but then one day I snuck into her bedroom and all over her closet door were BOUGARS.  Same exact kind.  Don’t be shocked.  Some people are massively disgusting.  She’s one of them and I want her out!