“Blanket Thief” (comedy) 1 minute

Character: KEITH
Description:  Keith argues about how his girlfriend keeps stealing the blanket sheets throughout the night.
Gender: Male
Age:  25    

I can’t.  I just can’t manage to take it anymore.  She’s driving me crazy!  Every night it’s the same thing and every morning it’s the same story.  I wake up cold, practically shivering from the freezing air because she’s a thief in the night.  A regular night thief.  Every night she robs the blanket right off of my body.  She is an inconsiderate rollover sleeper.  What do I mean?  I’ll tell you what I mean.  Every night when we go to sleep, she rips the blanket covers off of me.  It’s a constant battle of the blankets!  And every morning she is victorious because I am a heavy sleeper!

How dare she?  If she really loved me, she wouldn’t be stealing the covers from me, leaving me out in the cold all freaking night.  It’s why I’ve developed this random cough.  (coughs) My lungs can’t take the pressure.  I wake up feeling empty inside.  I haven’t had satisfied rest in months.  Ever since she moved in here and I can’t take it anymore.  What am I supposed to do? 

She gets me so crazy that I want to actually staple the sheets to my side of the bed and yell, “Ha, How do you like that BLANKET THIEF?”  But I don’t want to ruin the mattress.  I’ve had dreams about stapling the sheets to the bed, or gluing it or taping it or SOMETHING! 

(Sighs)

Awwww, what’s the sense…I love her.