“Lazy Eye” (serio-comedy) 1 minute

Character: GARY
Description:  Gary talks about how his nephew has a lazy eye and he thought it was something else.
Gender: Male
Age:  31    

GARY:

I was watching my four year old nephew run around in circles.  I told him to be careful because he will get dizzy and smack into something.  He didn’t listen, he ignored me and was testing my patience.  I was baby sitting for my brothers kid, Charlie.   Anyhoo, I warned him.  What happens?  He smacks his head right into the wall and starts crying like a little ass.

I run over to him to make sure he’s ok.  I look at his face and he has a minor bump on his head but when I looked into his eyes, they were crossed.  I asked him if he felt okay and he nodded a yes.  But I kept staring at him, wondering if he was cross eyed or if the head butt into the wall made him cross eyed.  I mean, does that stuff happen?

I wasn’t sure.  I waited about fifteen minutes and started talking to him and his eyes were still crossed.  Now I started getting nervous because I would remember if my nephews eyes were a little off or not.  I mean, they were like googly eyes man and that’s not something you don’t notice. 

I kinda started freaking out a bit.  I went into my brothers wall unit where he keeps photos of the family and I began thumbing through a series of pictures of my nephew.  None of the pics showed him to have cross eyes.  He looked completely normal in every single picture.  So now, I started really freaking out man.

I didn’t know what else to do but to start spinning my nephew around again and smack his head into the wall.  I was praying to God that his eyes would go back.  Sure enough, they did!  Unfortunately he had another bump on his head but it was worth it to have normal looking eyes.

When my brother got home I told him that Charlie bumped his head into the wall but that he was fine.  I casually mentioned to my brother about my nephews googly eyes.  My brother told me that my nephew sometimes had a lazy eye when he was really tired.  I felt like such a baffoon.  I felt like the worst uncle in the world. 

I’m not sure I would make a good daddy but at least my nephew is normal.  Poor kid.  I’m such a spazz!