“Ankle Socks” (serio-comic) 2 minutes

November 8, 2006 by Joseph Arnone
Filed under 2 Minute Monologues, MB Library, Male Monologues - Serio/Comic

Character: TIMMY
Description: Timmy tells his friend about an embarrassing story he experienced with his eccentric cousin.
Gender: Male
Age: 28

I have this cousin who happens to be a little odd. Since I can remember he was always a little off. The family kind of just accepted his eccentricities. He was the type of kid growing up who always had his hair going in ten different directions. He was always dressed sloppy and wasn’t really hygienic. I guess you could say he was the goofball in school. But he was my cousin and we were close.

Last week was the only time I pulled him aside and told him something about his strangeness. We met at the park to play some basketball and he shows up wearing shorts with his socks up to his knees. Well, I just about had it with his antics. I felt like he was playing a joke on me and I just couldn’t take it anymore. I pulled him aside and asked him, what the hell was he doing with his socks? And he said he was old school. I was completely baffled by this. Old school? What the fuck is old school? It was a take back to the eighties man. I was totally pissed off and told him to push them down because he was embarrassing himself. He was like, “I could wear my clothing anyway I wish.”

Then, I saw a group of guys pointing their fingers at us and laughing. I even heard one of them call my cousin a homo. I took my anger out on them and the next thing I know I am fist fighting with like five guys. My cousin just stood there and watched me get my ass kicked. It was a whole big thing. The cops came, took names, nobody pressed charges on anybody. All bullshit, just because my cousin wanted to wear his socks up to his knees.

Later on in the day he came over and apologized for being different and I told him that I was the one who was wrong. I was the one who should be apologizing to him for being such an asshole. We made up and moved on. No big deal after all. He said next time he would wear ankle socks and I told him I didn’t care.