“A Father’s Need” (drama) 1 Minute

Monologue Description:  “A Father’s Need” explores the guilt one feels when not being there for a loved one.

Character Description:  In this monologue, MICHAEL (36/male) opens up to his best friend about not being able to get close to his children, the way he wishes he could.

Character Background:  Michael is a hardworking construction worker.  He is loyal to his friends and known at his construction job as a stand up guy.  He’s been happily married for six years and has three sons.  He has personal issues with his children, the inner demons he battles stem from his own relationship with his father and he has the most difficult time, showing his sons the love he has in his heart.  Michael is well liked in his community, coming from a small town in Conneticut and is looked upon by many as the ideal mans man.  Michael takes pride in his family and takes pride in being a blue collar worker.  He is the kind of man who doesn’t answer to nobody and never asks for favors.  He is also the kind of man who will give you the shirt off his back or run into a burning building to save lives.  He is a passionate man but needs to learn how to reveal it to his loved ones.

Character Circumstances:  Michael received a frightening phone call from his wife, telling him that his oldest son was hit by a car, while riding his bicycle on the road.  After visitng his son in the hospital, he meets up with his best friend Bobby for a beer and conversation.

MICHAEL:

…I never thought I would be so removed from my kids…My father was a hard man.  He was John Wayne the whole fucking way.  I never saw the sensitive side of him.  Even on his death bed, it was all brawn.  I always said to myself that I would never be so cold to my own kids.  Never.  And look at me now Bobby, I’ve become what I long despised in my old man.  I treat my boys no better.

And now my own son…in the hospital…in a coma, and all I can do is stand tough as I peer over him, at his bedside.  When all I wish I could do, is hold him in my arms and tell him I love him more than life itself.

(beat)

It’s like I can’t get past myself.  I try Bobby, I try man.  I look at you and I see you with your kids.  I never said nothing to you but I admire you.  I admire how you treat your kids.  I don’t know how to be that way, I don’t know how to express myself in that way.  I try.  I try but it’s like I have this concrete wall build around my heart that no matter how hard my heart beats, I just can’t seem to break it through…

How do I do it?  How do I become the man I want to be, without feeling like I’m giving up a part of myself I’ve been holding on to for so long?  The funny thing is, I want to kill that part of me, I hate that part of me, but I think I feel that if I eliminate that guy, I’m eliminating my father and it’s the only father I’ve ever known.  All I want to do, is hug my kids, I want to pick them up in the air and have tears of joy streaming down my face because I know that my kids know, how I truly feel.  That’s all I want and I don’t know how to provide that nourishment.

I need to break myself into a thousand pieces and rebuild who I am, for my children, for my wife…for me.  This can’t be about my dad no more Bobby.  I need to make a change or else I will be haunted for the rest of my life.  Do you think I’m strong enough to do it???