“Marriage License” (serio-comic) 2 minutes

Monologue Description:  “Marriage License” is about the unexpected circumstances that arise when going on vacation.

Character Description:  Jacklyn talks to her girlfriend about what happened to her during her vacation to Aruba.                  

JACKLYN: 

Did I tell you what happened at the airport?  The worst experience of my life!  We waited all year to go on vacation to Aruba.  We get to the airport about five in the morning.  Everything is packed and ready to go, the kids are being watched, the lizards are being fed and the dog is being cared for.  EVERYTHING was carefully prepared.  No stress right?  

Okay, we are at the airport and a woman security guard stops us.  My husband is fine, he has a passport and I have a license, birth certificate, social security card and credit cards.  The woman says to me that all my I.D. is no good, that I need to show proof that I am my husbands wife and that the only way to do that is have my marriage license.  I never heard of such a thing in all my life.  I thought they were pulling my leg.  I understand security concerns these days for obvious reasons but come on, do I look like a terrorist.  I am whiter than white with blond bimbo hair and big blue eyes.  I’m the furthest thing from a terrorist.

My husband goes crazy and starts punching walls.  More security guards come and try to calm the situation down.  We ended up taking a cab back home searching for the damn marriage license.  We couldn’t find it!  I call up the building that handles such things and they had a copy of our marriage license on their records but get this, their fax machine wasn’t working!  Can you imagine?  I had to get in my car and drive forty miles to get my marriage license. 

I got back home, got my husband, we got in another cab, cost us another sixty bucks and we come face to face with the security woman again.  I throw the damn paper in her face because by this point I was ready for murder.  I told her to get me on the fucking next plane out!!!  She did but guess what happens next???

She didn’t put us on a direct flight.  We had to make a stop in Florida!  Well, we finally made it to Aruba but guess what happens next?  You will never believe me.  They didn’t have our luggage.  Imagine?  No luggage.  We had to spend more money for the next two days to cloth oursleves until our luggage came. 

So you know what I did for those two days while we were waiting for our luggage?  I GOT SHITFACED DRUNK!!! It was my vacation and I was going to enjoy it one way or another.  With clothes or without.  I didn’t care at that point and I am not a big drinker.   My husband had to carry me back to the hotel we were staying at BOTH nights we didn’t have our luggage.