“Final Curtain Call” (drama) 2 minutes

Monologue Description:  “Final Curtain Call” is about a man who is sick of his marriage to the point of wishing he were dead.

Character Description:  Sam wants out of his marriage.  In this monologue he talks to his wife as if it’s his dying wish.

SAM:

You wanna smack me in the face?  Why don’t you make a fist, a fist so hard that the blood circulating through your hand begins to slow down and turn numb.  Then and only then do I want you to bash my fucking brains in, ALL THE WAY IN, until my brain is dumb numb.  You understand what I want you to do Lorraine?  Do ya?  Do ya fucking understand you stupid bitch?  I’m fed up with trying to please you!  I just want to die.  I would love for you to do what I ask…

Open up your palm, then slowly tighten your fingers into your palm until it becomes air tight.  Once your hand begins to tremble from pressing so damn hard…STRIKE ME dead in the forehead and kncok me out into death.

Do I sound morbid Lorraine?  Well, that’s because I AM morbid Lorraine.  Being married to you these past twenty two fucking years makes one feel, hmmm, how shall I put it, what would be the poetic term…DOG YEARS!  I feel like I’m living in dog years with you Lorraine.  Not in the fast sense mind you.  I’ve become your dog, your pet, your fucking little piss on and shit on toy these last two decades and I am the idiot mut prancing around with my tail between my legs, panting and growling and moaning and slobbing all over myself like a freak from some circus cartoon and I  DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT THE FUCK I”M TALKING ABOUT ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(beat)

How’s that?  You get me so worked up Lorraine that I fail to put my thoughts into words.  Instead I’m left with the poor ability to growl and bark.  You’ve reduced me to an animal Lorraine.  I no longer feel like a man.  I’m not fit to be a man.  You’ve struck me so hard and so often that all I want to do is lye here until oxygen seizes to enter my lungs.  Please, allow me to drool all over myself and bake in my world of delightful misery.

You can do whatever you wish but my mind is made up dear.  I’m riding this one all the way out.  My final curtain call….bliss….finally….