“Play It Safe” (serio-comic) 1-2 Minutes

Monologue Description: “Play It Safe” is about a job interview gone wrong.

Character Description:  Rick talks to his buddy about why he didn’t get the job he went out for.

RICK:  

I didn’t get the job because I didn’t tell him he had a booger in his nose.   (sighs)  I have no luck man.  For every good thing that happens to me, two bad things happen also.  I can’t get ahead. 

What happened??

I’m all excited about this job interview man.  I get all slicked up in my best suit, well, my only suit actually but it’s a good one.  So, I get all decked out and drive into the city.  I spend four million dollars to park my car and I go up for the interview.

The manager of the firm is the guy who will interview me.  Everything is going good.  I’m sitting down, waiting in the lounge type area for my name to get called.  Exchanging sexy looks with the secretary.  Then the manager comes out and my name is called.  Okay, here we go.

I shake hands with the manager but as soon as I meet eyes with him I see that he has a giant booger dangling from his nostril.  (sighs)  We go into his office and the whole walk there, I am praying that the snot falls off, so I don’t have to stare at it during the interview.

What happens???

We both sit down.  And there it is, the mischievous booger, looking right at me.  I couldn’t concentrate on anything man but that damn gooey thing.  I made an attempt at telling him but he already started talking and I felt it was too late.  I decided to keep quiet about it, play it safe.  Bad choice.

It was like all I could see was this booger.  Swinging back and forth, ever so gently, ever so slightly, between each breath he took.  I was magnetised by it.  I didn’t know if it would land on my resume, on his desk, maybe go airborne and land somewhere on the floor.  I actually wanted to know.  I found myself waiting to find out.

I think the interview went good but then the guy scratches his nose and he realizes that he had a little friend on his finger.  He looked at me in disgust, like it was MY FAULT he had a specimen on his nose.  He told me I should have told him and that since I didn’t, I wouldn’t get the job…

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