“What If’s Of Life” (drama) 2 Minutes

Monologue Description: “What If’s of Life” is about the fragility of life.

Character Description: Gregory recounts a traumatizing story he witnessed the day before. he talks to his best friend Alexa.

GREGORY:

Listen to me, I was walking my dog and you will never believe what I saw. This older guy, must of been in his fifties. He was carrying a bag of groceries. He has all kinds of fruits and vegetables sticking out from the top of his bag. Then an apple popped out of the bag and this happened as the man was in the middle of crossing the street. So the guy bends down to give chase to the apple that was rolling away from him.…and then it happened…a fucking truck came right at this guy

…a mack truck…and I was about to see this man get pummeled but I couldn’t bare witness to this and all I could do was let out a scream for this man, like a warning. I muffled it under my breath, “Look out…” but I already knew it was going to be too late. And I closed my eyes and turned my head and I heard the wort noise. It was like a deep implosion type sound. I heard other people yelp and let out horrific noises. I looked back and I saw the guy layed out flat on his back with his groceries spilled all over the street.

My dog began making crying noises like she does when she begs for food. It was terrible. My legs went numb but I slowly approached this man. When I got to be about ten feet away, I noticed that he had blood spilling out from his mouth and his eyes were rolling in back of his head. The truck driver was already out of the truck and he had tears in his eyes. He was kneeling next to the man holding his hand and in his other hand it appeared that he was talking on the phone with the police.Sirens were blaring in the distance but I watched as this fallen man died…It only got me thinking as to how fragile we all are. The what ifs of life. If it was just a few seconds sooner or a few second later, this man would have lived. If his apple didn’t fall out from his bag, if he would have been aware of the oncoming truck….if, if, if, if, if. It’s moments like these that make me realize that we can be here today and gone tomorrow. We gotta appreciate and love life everyday as if it’s our last.

 

“Name Brand Tampon” (serio-comedy) 1-2-3 Minutes

Monologue Description: “Name Brand Tampon” is about a controlling relationship.

Character Description: Justin tells his soon to be wife that he cant take her bossing him around like a child anylonger.

JUSTIN:

What do you want me to say? Huh? What? You want me to agree with you? I’m not doing it Vita. I’m tired of this shit you call happiness. You’re only happy when it’s according to your standards, when it’s according to your needs, your demands, your rules. I’m done. I’m done agreeing with you all the time. I mean really, really, I must be the biggest schmuck walking.

Hey everybody, look at me, I’m a big fucking asshole…Sometimes I want to go to the top of a mountain or the top of a building and just shout it outload. LOOK EVERYBODY, MY NAMES JUSTIN AND I”M A BIG FUCKING ASSHOLE. I must be because I certainly feel like one. What’s that saying? You are what you eat. I’ve been eating your shit for far too long. From now on it’s my way or no way. That’s right Vita. Miss macho man. Walking around like you’re the coach and I’m the football player that needs to follow the plays you draw up. I’m not agreeing with you and I’m not being bossed around no more.

If you can’t handle that and you want a man who is not a man, a man who will take your abuse and be a yes mam, than find somebody else. I’ve tolerated enough. You want a sissy man, than go Greenwhich Village and find one. I’m done. I’m done.

(beat)

What? Did I do what?

(beat)

No, I didn’t have time to go to Home Depot. What? Yeah, I told you I’m gonna get the shower curtain but I couldn’t go because you needed me to deposit money at the bank. Huh? Stop where?

(beat)

You can’t go to the store and buy the tampon yourself? When did you get sick? You know, if I had a thing that bled once a month, I’d always make sure I had the stuff to soak it up. I can’t believe you. You see what I mean? You see? I’m your Goddamn errand boy. Little bobby going to the store for mommy like a big boy. It’s bullshit. This is bullshit.It makes me feel uncomfortable.

I have to go down the aisle where there’s other women, most likely and then I have to find your NAME BRAND TAMPON and that takes an eternity because most likely I won’t be able to find YOUR brand. And then I gotta ask someone in the store to help me. I don’t want to ask a worker because it’s embarrassing and I don’t want to ask some random woman because it’s even more embarrassing. So, I’ll be staring at the tampon rack for what will feel like the second coming of Jesus, feeling like a jerkwad. Hello, you get my point??? This is the ruthless shit I’m talking about. It’s deliberation. Like from that Tennessee Williams play, in the movie version when Vivien Leigh says, “Deliberate cruelty is unforgivable”. Its unforgivable Vita. You cannot keep doing this to me!!!

“Favorite College Words” (comedy) Under 1 Minute

Monologue Description: “Favorite College Words” is about a young womans college experience.

Character Description: Giselle talks to her cousin about her top ten favorite words at college.

GISELLE:

Someone asked me the other day what my college experience has been like so far…I thought about it for a moment or two. Education of course is the good answer. My parents are spending a ton of money to send me off to college. But to be honest, not only is it for the education but it is also for the experience.These are my favorite college words so far:

1. Beer
2. Friends
3. Sex
4. Party
5. Free
6. Cancelled
7. Fun
8. Post-Poned
9. Smokey Smoke
10. Money

That’s it in a nutshell. All of the rest gets done as it gets done. College, for me, is like a great big party doing what I love. I hope the rest of my life is like this.

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