“Cellphone Bill!” (serio-comic) 1 Minute

Monologue Description: “Cellphone Bill” is about receiving an extremely high bill and being innocent to the charges.

Character Description: Ashley talks to her girlfriend about her cellphone bill.

ASHLEY: 

You know which phone plan I have?  I have “Screw Ashley in the ass plan!”  Yep! Yep!  Yep!  I thought I was doing a good thing by changing my phone plan and guess what?  I wasn’t.  I get a phone bill that made me sick.  Eight hundred dollars and forty three cents!!!  I couldn’t believe it!

 What did I do?  What did I do?? 

I called those bastards up at the phone company and gave them a piece of my mind.  I sure did!  I said, “I changed my plan in order for me NOT to get a HUGE bill”.  I mean, I just finished paying a three hundred dollar bill so I lowered my plan thinking everything would be fine and dandy but NO.  NOTHING was fine and dandy. 

I thought my rollover minutes had me covered.  I accumulated something like three thousand rollover minutes.  But get this…when you change your plan your rollover minutes DO NOT APPLY.  So I’m yapping yapping yapping for like a month straight, thinking I have backup with my rollover minutes and then I get this whopping bill.  Rollover minutes?  I sure as hell rolled over alright. 

The guy who works for my phone company was real nice to me, he calmed me down and made all of these adjustments for me.  It was a life saver.  Then we got to talking.  He lives right here in my neighborhood.  I couldn’t believe it.  Next thing I know we’re sending eachother pics to our email boxes and now we are going on our first date this Saturday evening.

So I guess it wasn’t that bad after all.