“Bodily Fluids” (serio-comic) 1-2 Minutes

Monologue Description: “Bodily Fluids” is about breaking out of boredom.

Character Description: In this monologue, Winston talks to his best friend Ged about leaving their town and heading out west for women.

WINSTON:

I’m so Goddamn bored today that all I did was watch my bodily fluids.  Ged, ever get that booored?  Shant (pronounced shaint), it happens to me every now and again.  One time I was so damn bored I hung my nephew up on a plant hook right by the backseat of his pants.  Ha Ha!  Forgot he was up there.  My sister come home and found me fast asleep on the couch and my nephew still dangling from the plant hook.  She wasn’t too happy none and I wrecken I was sleeping dreaming catching fish, when I was really catching them smacks upside the heeaaad.

Shant, I ain’t had no fun in years Ged.  Been a long time since I can say I done something noble.  Does noble mean fun???  Shant, well, I mean fun anyways.  You get my damn point, right?  Right?? 

When was the last time we had any kind of fun ’round these parts?  Shant, last time I wrecken we had us some good ole laughs hadda be I’d say ’bout three years ago come this month yonder.

Now, why don’t we go do something real wild.  Let’s pack up the RV and go out west.  We can go place our boots on some San Diego bar counter and mingle with all the hot blond chicks that’ll be there.  I hear chicks like on Baywatch are regulars out there.  Not like our women, short, masculine and mean. 

Whattya say Ged?  You wanna roll in the ole RV???

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