“Curvy Nails” (serio-comic) 2 Minutes

• Q:What is a skits’O Monologue?
• A: A skits’O Monologue is TWO Characters, ONE Actor

Monologue Description: “Curvy Nails” is about the difference of opinion regarding customer service.

Character 1: Maxi is a woman in her early thirties who is dedicated to looking pristine.
Character 2: Linda is the owner of the nail salon. She is in her mid-forties.

Both women talk to a mutual friend on their own time.

MAXI:

She needs to get her head examined. Did you see what she did to my nails? Did you even look? Look at it! Not only is the nail polish blemished. i don’t even know if that is a word but whatever, my nails are blemished! And they are all crooked from the file job she gave me.

You can’t go and fix that. They have to grow out again and take their natural shape. I am never going to that nail salon again. Linda is a complete asshole and she should go out of business for the terrible job she does and for how she treats her customers. I complained to her in a very nice manner and she suddenly explodes on me calling me a perfectionist.

What kind of nonsense is that? I should sue her just on merit.

(Actor switches character)

LINDA:

That is such a crock of shit. She has nothing better to do with her time. She comes into my store like three times a week and she always gets the best treatment. We pamper her! We give her the works, for months! This is the thanks I get. Nice. I’ve gone out of my way for this woman. So I batched up one nail job..SUE ME! It happens. I don’t have perfect written across my freakin’ forehead.

I did everything I could to keep her calm. I offered her the next two visitations to my salon, FREE. What more does she want? It’s like the nicer I was, the more she heaved and moaned. Finally I blew up at her and told her to get out of my store and don’t ever come back. She made me crazy that one.