“Beer Pong Wizard!” (comedy) 1 Minute

Monologue Description: “Beer Pong Wizard!” is about the game beer pong.

Character Description: In this monologue, Willy plays one on one with one of his buddies and they almost get into a physical fight.

WILLY:

Yo, yo, yo drink up fucker!

HAHAHAHA

You got no game dude. NO GAME! You suck. Whatch this watch this whatch this.

(takes the pong ball and lightly scoops it over to the other end of the beer pong table)

BINGO!!! What’s up? What’s up now booooooooooooy? Drink up bitch, drink it up!

HAHAHAHA

Cheating? I’m not cheating? How does one cheat at beer pong genius? You are a fucking genius, you know that? What?! I’m not leaning over the table man. What!? Dude, I was not leaning over the fucking table. Dude, I NEVER lean over the table man. NEVER! I was raised on this game okay, I know how to play it. This shit is in my DNA bro.

You’re crazy. You’re just a sore loser. You can’t handle losing but guess what? YOU JUST LOST! You lost cause you suuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

HAHAHAHA

You suuuuuuuuuuuuuck!

HAHAHAHA

(to girl)

Hey, you see that guy over there, yeah, he suuuuuuuuuucks, at beer pong!

HAHAHAHA

I won’t stop, no, I won’t. Don’t call me a cheater than cause I’m not a fucking cheater. If I’m a cheater than you are a sore loser and you know what? I rather be a cheater because at least you win when you cheat but a sore loser is a looooooooooooooser.

HAHAHAHAHA

I will stop it, just take it back. Say I’m not a cheater.

I NEVER STEPPED OVER THE TABLE!!!!

You know I’m good at this game bro. You know I have my technique down and everything. My Arc Shot is the shit! I am the BEER PONG WIZARD!! So back off bitch!!

Are we straight, we fair? Are we fair???

Alright cool. Let’s load ‘em up again man. Hell yeah!!!!!! Get ready to lose again biaaaaaatch!!!