“Gas Attack” (comedy) 1 Minute

Monologue Description: “Gas Attack” is about reflection on a broken up relationship.

Character Description: In this monologue, Jasmine reflects on how disgusting her ex-boyfriend was while she dated him.  She confesses how he was to her best friend.

JASMINE: 

He’s an animal.  I’m happy I finally broke up with his ass.  Now I can tell everybody ALL THE STORIES of what an asshole he truly is! 

This one time we were out on a date.  We were dating for like six months and we were at a red light.  I’ll never forget this as long as I live.  It was a scorching hot day.  Anyway, we were at this red light and all of a sudden he gets this really odd look on his face.  A look I never observed in him before and it puzzled me.  He looked ill. 

Next thing I know is he lowers the car music, power locks the doors and windows, changes the cold air coming out of the vents to HOT AIR and he gives me this even stranger look and do you know what he does???

HE LETS OUT A FART THAT MUST HAVE LASTED  ABOUT A MINUTE.

IT WAS INTOXICATING!!!

I began choking and coughing because I obviosuly couldn’t breath and he is laughing his ass off the whole freaking time!

I wanted to kill him.  I kept hitting him and punching him and I tried reaching over to unlock the windows but I wasn’t strong enough and it was just horrible.  It was even worse than you can imagine because he takes those horse pills for working out.  Awwwww, the stench, the,  awwwwww!!!!

It wasn’t until I started gagging and crying that he rolled down the damn windows.  I didn’t talk to him for the rest of the night because of it.  He was a PIG!!!  I don’t know why the hell I stuck with his ass for so long.

God, just thinking about it makes me sick!