“Powder Monkey” (serio-comedy) 1 Minute

Monologue Description: “Powder Monkey” is about the ongoings of a stock firm.

Character Description: In this monologue, Louie tears into the young budding wannabe stockbrokers that have come in for interviews. He comes off as if he is the President of the stock holder’s firm, when in realit, he isn’t. He is just a pawn that is doing his job in order to weed out the weakest links.

LOUIE:

Okay pussies, welcome to COBCO. We are a name calling, backstabbing, heart eating, don’t give a fuck, pay me my money, no joke, kiss my ass, get out of my way, STOCK HOLDER’S FIRM.

If you can’t handle my first sentence with all my Un-American phrasing, then get the fuck out of my soft leather chair and out of my office and OH YEAH, out of my building. I own this building and soon I’ll own the street and after I own the block, I think I’ll want more. What do you boys want? That’s right, BOYS. Show of hands, whose still living home with mommy? No balls! All the mommy’s boys, get the fuck out! Get out!

There’s no more cleaning up your pee pee and cocky kids. When you are here, it’s all or nothing. Balls Deep!!

So please, do me a favor, all the faggots leave too. Excuse me for not being politically correct but LEAVE! Don’t come back ever. There’s no dick sucking here unless it’s my dick or the dick of a large account whale.

Work fast, play fast, die fast!

(pause)

There are seven of you in this room left. You guys will now be welcomed by the real President of the company…Walter Fitzgerald.