“The Chicken Head Story” (comedy) 2 Minutes

Monologue Description: “The Chicken Head Story” is about a woman teaching a man a lesson.

Character Description: In this monologue, Andy confides to his friend a personal sexual story he experienced with his girlfriend.

ANDY:

Did I tell you the head story?  You know, did I mention it?  I didn’t tell you about the head story?!  Oh my God man!!!!  Wait till I freaking tell you this!!!  Ooooooooh Wait!

When me and Janet first started dating it was like, BOOM BOOM BOOM.  It was a head feast bro.  And this went on for quite awhile.  And then one day it HIT me–I realized that I didn’t have a blow job for like two weeks.  My brain started pounding as I discovered my blow job days were over.

I waited like three months to confirm my fears.  It was true.  In three months I got like three blow jobs dude.  How do you go from five blow jobs a week to three blow jobs in three months?  Something ain’t right, it’s not right, not right.

So I came up with a solution.  I was never really big on going south on a girl.  Not my forte.  But now I began to think that if I DO go down on her much more often, that she will give me more blow jobs. 

Make sense right, right?

I WAS WRONG? 

Nothing changed.  So I decided to confront her about it.  At first I started casual about wanting a blow job.  As the day unfolded I began joking about it and then throwing strong hints.  Finally I said to her that she should give me more chicken head like she used to because I was playing with shirley alot more.  She calls it shirley.  Forget why.

She says to me, “So now you know how it feels!!!”  The whole time!  The whole time it was strategy from her.  She set me up for it.  I couldn’t believe it.  She stopped giving me head in order to teach me a lesson.  Do you believe it?  Do ya?  Do ya?

No matter how hard we try, women are smarter than men.  They just are!

So we sealed the deal if you know what I mean and now things are the best they have ever been in bed!  Fucking GREAT!!!!!