“Swing, Swing, Swing” (comedy) 1 Minute

Monologue Description: “Swing, Swing, Swing” is about having your partner meet you half way with chores.

Character Description: In this monologue, Delana sarcastically tells her boyfriend that he needs to do more things around the house.

DELANA:

Hmmm. Okay, let’s see. One—two—three—FOUR—FIVE! Five holes in my foot Don. One, two, three, four, FIVE! Yep, FIIIIIVE! Five holes in my foot because I have asked you for the past two months to fix the spikes coming out from the carpet.

(she begins slamming a hammer into the rug at the door frame)

Maybe (swing), now (swing), I (swing), won’t (swing), have (swing), ANYMORE HOLES (swing, swing, swing), in my feet (swing, swing, swing). What do you think? You think I got them all? God knows waiting for you is like waiting for Kingdom come to come.

I think from now on I’m just going to do things on my own. I’m really not that handy Don, as you know but if your lazy ass can’t do it, than I guess my ass will. I think it’s better to have at least a half ass job done, than no job at all. What do you think Don?

At least now, I won’t have additional holes in my feet but guess what, WE NEED A NEW CARPET!