“Howta Be A Gangsta” (comedy) 1 Minute

Filed Under 1 Minute Monologues, Male Monologues - Comedy, Monologues |

Monologue Description: “Howta Be A Gangsta” is a spoof.

Character Description: In this monologue, Vic is doing his own personal DVD series on teaching people how to be gangsters. This character believes that he can make good money selling DVD’s on the subject. He takes the matter very seriously and with great passion.

VIC:

Hello and WELCOME to “VICS SHOW - HOWTA BE A GANGSTA” I’m your host VIC!

Okay, lisn up cauz I’m gonna show ya for tadays lesson, howta pipe sombody up. Arright? Here we go…

(walks over to a dummy)

Ya see dis dummy ova here? Now pay attention. When ya hold the pipe, ya gotta hold it wit control, you gotta get a firm grip on da thing or else from da pressure, you are liable to lose ya hold and dats not a good thing. Not a good thing ya hear?

HEH HE, I rememba one time dat happend to me and the fuckin’ guy had enough time to get up and run off while I went to go grab the pipe that went flying in the other direction. Bastard. I got ‘em though, I got ‘em.

Now pay attention, the best grip is at da bottom wit two hands and then you kinda just let it happen from there…like so.

(vic hits the dummy in the head a few times)

Now, be careful as not to lose control, you ALWAYS wanna remain in control because if ya lose control its gonna affect ya aim. Make believe youra baseball playa and ya gotta fastball pitch comin at ya, you gotta use alla ya concentration to make sure ya don’t swing and miss…same theory applies here.

That’s dat. Todays lesson on howta pipe somebody up.

Until next time, I’m ya host VIC and this is “VICS SHOW - HOWTA BE A GANGSTA”