“Nose Hairs” (comedy) 1 Minute

Monologue Description: “Nose Hairs” is self explanatory. 

Character Description:  In this monologue, Danica tells her friend about the guy that just tried picking her up at the bar counter.

DANICA: 

I was just talking to Ground Hog Day.  hahaha.  The guy had nose hairs as long as my fingernails.  I mean really, what chance in hell did HE have in picking me up?  I didn’t know whether to laugh at him or ask the bartender for a pair of scissors.  Jesus!  He’s liable to stab somebody with those pointers.  hahaha.  Imagine kissing him?  Oh that must be a fucking thrill and a half.  You kind of have to part it in the middle as if you’re going through a spiderweb.  Unbelievable! 

I cannot believe that men like that take themselves seriously.  Do they even look at themselves in the mirror before they leave the house?  Really?  Do they?  You’ve got to be kidding me!

Anylonger and his nose hairs can pass for a mustache!