“Clear As Day” (serio-comedy) 1 Minute

Monologue Description: “Clear As Day” is about a fruit crisis at a grocery stand.

Character Description: In this monologue,  Gladace is an elderly woman shopping at her local grocery store when another woman cuts her off while she is in the process of picking out her fruit.

GLADACE: 

Excuse me?  I was reaching in to grab that pear and you snatched it up.  How rude! 

(beat)

Excuse me but you saw me, clear as day reaching in to grab that tender pear and you went and jumped in before I could grab a hold of it.  That is outright rude!

What?  No, you didn’t see the pair first.  I saw where you were.  You were over by the potatoes and I was standing right smack in front of these pears, sizing them up, seeing which ones I wanted.  THEN you come over here and rudely intervened with your aggressive behavior for no reason at all.

The stand is big enough for the two of us lady!  You don’t need to cut me off and try to swat my hand out of the way in order to snatch up a pear, ESPECIALLY the pear I had MY eye on.

Oh please!  Horseshit.  You are full of horseshit.  Keep the damn pear you lunatic!  I’ll have you know I’m going to the apple section and you better not follow me there because then things might get serious!

Good day!