“Time Capsule” (comedy) 1 Minute

November 5, 2007 by The Monologue Blogger

Filed under 1 Minute Monologues, Female Monologues - Comedy, MB Library

Monologue Description: “Time Capsule” is about entering the 21st century. (haha)

Character Description: In this monologue, Tanya talks to her girlfriend Rebecca about how she is trying to help her nextdoor neighbor Simon, become more of a ladies man. Simon recently separated with his wife after fifteen years and he never left the 1980’s. Tanya is in the process of giving Simon a drastic make over in order to help him have more fun in his life.

TANYA:

So I told him, stop living in the eighties! Stop wearing those old school cut off t-shirts and those tight stiff jeans and those long knee high socks and oh man, forget it…I went over it with him. I feel bad because his wife left him but still, the guy has no style. His car is from the eighties, his choice of music is from the eighties, it’s all he listens too. He still uses slang from the eighties! It’s like he’s been stuck in a time capsule or a coma. He needs to get with it.

I coached him for three days straight. I taught him all about what’s been happening the last twenty years. I brought him up to date with gossip and politics and music and STYLE. I took this guy shopping and introduced him to name brand clothing. Oh God, his closet was so depressing. You should have seen his shoes! Terrible, terrible terrible!

Now he at least has a chance to meet women. Now we need to work on his game. He is definitely not a gamer. We role played and it was like talking to a cave man. (imitates him as cave man) Daaaaaa, dddoooo, ddddddddeeeee, daaaaaaaaa.

Horrible! That’s the next phase. I’m going to help him get some game. Should take a good two weeks of practice and then WHAMMO, it’s like riding a bike. It does depend on how much game he had back in his twenties as well. But either way, I’ll get him going in the right direction.

Exhaustion!

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