“Public High” (comedy) 1 Minute

Monologue Description: “Public High” is about a guy who goes outside while stoned out of his mind.

Character Description:  In this monologue,  Derrick decides to go outside for the first time while stoned.  He is accompanied with his accomplice, his girlfriend.  Derrick’s girlfriend is an expert in the matters of weed and she guides him through his first public high experience. 

DERRICK:

I should be alright.  I feel alright, you know?  Yeah, let’s go outside and give it a try.  I’ll be fine.

(they both step outside)

(beat)

(clears his throat)

What?  No, I’m alright, I’m alright.

(laughs a nervous laugh to himself)

I’m fine babe.  Yeah, I’m good.

(beat)

Hey honey, umm, you ah, do you feel like people are staring at us or is it me?  Huh? 

(beat)

No, I just feel like…you see that old lady over there dressed in black?  The one who’s been in morning for twenty five years?  Yeah.  She was staring at me funny.  Like, she had something on her mind.  I don’t know she was looking at me like she knew I was high.  She had anger in her eyes babe.

(beat)

Don’t laugh.  Why you laughing?  I’m telling you.  She was staring at me with shame in her face.  I’m serious babe, I’m serious. 

(thinks someone else is looking at him)

(whispering)

Shhh, you see?  You see that guy with the fisherman’s hat…across the street?  He was just staring too.  Now what?  Do I look stoned?  Do I look high to you or am I just bugging?  I’m bugging?  Yeah? 

Wow, I feel like my face is stuck sort of.  I feel like I have a chinamon’s face on.  How do I relax my face babe?  People are going to keep looking at me.  Do I look alright?  Yeah?  I don’t look Chinese?  Okay, okay.

Huh?  It’s just me?  Okay, I’ll relax.  You’re right.  I just need to calm down, chill, just chill.  Relax, right, right.

(he sighs)