“101 Female Monologues” – MonologueBlogger.com

 

 

Here is a list of 101 Female Monologues taken from MonologueBlogger.com  This list has been compiled based on comments made to the site, most popular views and emails sent to the MB regarding monologues women would like to see written.  I placed a brief blurb next to each monologue title to help enlighten your search of material.  ENJOY LADIES!!!

 

Female Monologues – Comedy

1. “Just For Laughs” (comedy) 1-2 Min   (how mom’s can best their children)
2.  “Fog World” (comedy) 1 Min   (sibling scenario – pot – vases)
3. “Proud Mom” (comedy) 1 Min   (a mother who is WAY too proud of her child)
4. “Phone Calls” (comedy) 1-2 Min   (playing the date game – sort of)
5. “Flycatcher” (comedy) 1 Min   (bad fly experience – open wide and say AAHH)
6. “Next In Line” (comedy) 1 Min   (when a store clerk speaks her mind)
7. “Next In Line” (comedy) 1 Min   (episode2 from the same bitchy clerk)
8. “Nose Hairs” (comedy) 1 Min   (when nose hairs wave hello)
9. “Wing Girl” (comedy) 1 Min   (horny needs – or – when you gotta get some)
10. “Just One Thing” (comedy) 1 Min   (farting up a storm – look out!)
11. “Mercy Look” (comedy) 1-2 Min   (when women “torture shop” their man)
12. “The Girls” (comedy) 1-2 Min   (friendship, lust and cattiness)
13. “Boost” (comedy) 1 Min   (puppy love)
14. “Freakozoido” (comedy)  1-2 Min  (making weird faces while dancing seriously)
15. “Pop” (comedy) 1 Min  (high school fist fight)
16. “Swing, Swing, Swing” (comedy) 1 Min  (it’s chore time)
17. “Ready, Aim, AIM” (comedy) 1 Min  (don’t slip on the urine)
18. “Dog Anxiety” (comedy) 1-2 Min  (when little doggies go mad)
19. “Big Picture” (comedy) 1 Min  (pac-man obsessed)
20. “Let You Go” (comedy) Under 1 Min (you’re fired!)
21. “So Cute!” (comedy) 1 Min  (grammar school crush)
22. “Razor Blades”  (comedy) 1 Min  (a painful dump)
23. “Gas Attack” (comedy)  1 Min  (could also be titles, Sneak Attack)
24. “Right Away” (comedy) 1 Min  (party arrangement)
25. “The Toe Technique” (comedy) 1 Min  (massaging toes)
26. “Little Critters”  (comedy)  1 Min  (in a blink of an eye)
27. “Color & Style”  (comedy)  1 Min  (a bad hair day)
28. “Stretch” (comedy) 1 Min  (when one slips out)
29. “Snot Rags” (comedy) 1 Min  (inconsiderate habits)
30. “Crappy Pants” (comedy) 2 Min  (A MUST READ)
31. “Eating Like A Slob” (comedy) 1 Min (choking on food)
32. “Dog Humping” (comedy) 2 Min (attempted dog rape)
33. “Fried Balls From A Laptop” (comedy) 1 Min  (poor bastard)
34. “Tender Mercies” (comedy) 2 Min  (a great kisser)
35. “Little Woody” (comedy) 2 Min  (shorty can’t hang)
36. “Toe Nail” (comedy) 1 Min  (discovering a nasty secret)
37. “Drool”  (comedy)  2 Min  (dog drool meets girl)
38. “Broken Record”  (comedy) 1 Min  (missing your best friend)

Female Monologues – Serio/Comic

1. “Hot and Flashy” (serio-comic) 1-2 Min (smelly socks left out)
2. “Clear As Day” (serio-comic) 1 Min  (almost a fruit fight)
3. “Fungus Among Us”  (serio-comic) 1-2 Min (gross refrigerator)
4. “Money vs. Sex” (serio-comic) 1 Min  (what a woman truly desires)
5. “Hair Fuss” (serio-comic) 1 Min   (too much hair fuss)
6. “Curvy Nails” (serio-comic) 2 Min  (not happy at the nail salon)
7. “Today Is Not Forever” (serio-comic) 2 Min  (great advice from Grandma)
8. “Shower Hog” (serio-comic) 1 Min  (when too long in the shower)
9. “IKEA Desk” (serio-comic) 2 Min  (couple feuding over furniture)
10. “Trade-Off”  (serio-comic)  1-2 Min  (looking good for your man)
11. “Cellphone Bill”  (serio-comic) 1 Min   (outrageous phone bill finds romance)
12. “A Nightmare Of A Day”  (serio-comic) 2 Min  (worst day at work)
13. “Marriage License”  (serio-comic)  2 Min  (trying to leave for vacation)
14. “Eat The Muffins”  (serio-comic) 1 Min  (hungry dog)
15. “Mr.  High and Mighty”  (serio-comic)  1 Min  (snapping on your co-workers)
16. “Pop That Zit”  (serio-comic)  2 Min  (a zitty experience)
17. “Curse Your Boss, Get A Raise”  (serio-comic)  2 Min   (company hero)
18. “He’s Gay!”  (serio-comic) 2 Min   (assuming your co-workers sexual preference)
19. “Friends With Nutjob” (serio-comic)  1 Min   (about obsessive friends)
20. “Popping Balloons”  (serio-comic)  1 Min   (trying to set up a birthday party)
21. “Sneaky Husband”  (serio-comic) 2 Min   (avoiding the dentist appointment)
22. “Back Talker”  (serio-comic) 2 Min  (talking trash behind someones back)
23. “McDonalds For Dinner”  (serio-comic)  2 Min  (a first date at Mickey D’s)
24. “No Show”  (serio-comic) 1 Min  (when friends leave you flat)
25. “Cookie?”  (serio-comic)  1 Min  (teaching a child manners)

Female Monologues – Drama

1. “Protective Shield”  (drama) 1 Min  (covering up your real feelings)
2. “My Greatest Trophy”  (drama)  1 Min  (loss of a loved one)
3. “Smile Pretty, Alice”  (drama)  1 Min  (a cheating wife)
4. “Big Mouth” (drama)  1 Min  (a pain in the ass mother in law)
5. “15 Cents”  (drama) 1 Min  (surviving life in the streets)
6. “Coffee Table”  (drama) 1-2 Min  (suffering from mental illness)
7. “Digging My Man”  (drama)  1 Min  (flirting with someones boyfriend)
8. “Spirit Forward”  (drama)  1-2 Min  (encouraging your boyfriend)
9. “One Thing”  (drama)  1 Min  (having sexual education as a teen)
10. “Breaking Through”  (drama) 2 Min  (a mothers struggle raising her son)
11. “The Damage”  (drama)  Under 1 Min  (about mentally abusing a child)
12. “Beautiful Day”  (drama)  1 Min  (a woman not happy with the way she looks)
13. “Bruise” (drama)  1 Min  (about an abusive couples relationship)
14. “Contents Flammable”  (drama) 1 Min  (a mothers horrifying guilt)
15. “All Bets Are Off”  (drama)  2 Min  (fall from grace)
16. “A Thousand Kisses”  (drama)  1 Min   (a mothers love for her daughter)
17. “Choose Them Better”  (drama) 1 Min   (hiring better police officers)
18. “Spoken Diary” (drama) 1 Min  (losing love, to gain greater love)
19. “Just A Crack” (drama)  1-2 Min  (wondering if your boyfriend is the right fit)
20. “Pay Attention” (drama) 1 Min  (cheating relationship)
21. “The Back Room”  (drama)  2 Min  (about a woman who needs passion)
22. “Going, Going, Gone”  (drama)  1 Min  (fed up with being taken for granted)
23. “No Comparison”  (drama) 1 Min  (struggles of being a lesbian)
24. “Above and Beyond”  (drama) 1 Min  (giving birth for the first time)
25. “Grandma’s Will”  (drama) 2 Min  (fighting to live)
26. “Move On”  (drama)  1 Min  (telling your ex-boyfriend to “keep it moving”)
27. “Shopping List”  (drama) 1 Min  (money problems)
28. “Before It’s Too Late”  (drama)  1 Min  (trying to save your siblings life)
29. “Give Me A Break”  (drama)  1 Min  (handling the pressure from an ailing mother)
30. “Waking Up”  (drama)  1 Min  (loving the mornings spent with you man)
31. “Don’t Buckle”  (drama) 1 Min  (helping a friend in need)
32. “The Signing” (drama) 1 Min  (signing a prenuptial agreement)
33. “Womanhood”  (drama)  1 Min  (standing up for your self-respect)
34. “Snapshot”  (drama) 1 Min  (a mother lifting her sons spirits up)
35. “Wino”  (drama)  1 Min  (complaining about your boss)
36. “Sue His Ass”  (drama)  1 Min  (broken up marriage involving children)
37. “Comfortable Living”  (drama) Under 1 Min  (knowing what makes one happy)
38. “Catholic Girl”  (drama)  2 Min  (sharing life lessons on behalf of your child)

THANK YOU again for digging these 101 Female Monologues!!!

“Pizza Talk 101″ (episode 2) Under 1 Minute

Monologue Description: “Pizza Talk 101″ is about a pizza maker’s philosophies on life.

Character Description:  In this monologue, Mario discusses the value of marriage. 

MARIO:

I got married young.  I was twenty three when I got married.  I don’t regret a day that goes by.  Marriage is good.  The wife, she’s always gonna make you crazy but that’s what a wife is supposed to do.  You understand?

This guy, he come into my store, he delivers my sodas and he says to me that he just broke up with his girlfriend of six years.  Six years!  I told him, “Why you no get married?”  He says, “He was afraid”.  Okay. 

TWO MONTHS later he comes back to my store, another delivery and he tells me that he met a new girl.  I say, “Okay.” 

TWO MONTHS after that, he comes in, he tells me that she’s his new girlfriend and she’s moving in.  I say, “Okay.”

TWO MONTHS after that, he proposed to her.  I say, “No shit?!”

What is the lesson.  DON’T BE AFRAID OF MARRIAGE!

You just met a new girl.  A nice girl.  You don’t have to get married tomorrow but you shouldn’t let the last one make you bitter.  Open your heart, take your time and you will see.  You will get married also.

Ha ha ha.  Watch.  You keep me posted.  Ha ha ha!

Every man needs a woman and every woman needs a man.  It’s nature.  Life.  Be happy and don’t think.  Think, but not so much or else you will end up like Ben over there who doesn’t know how to count anymore.

(Ben is an older man who sits in the corner of the pizzeria and helps out waiting on tables)

Life is too short.  Capiche?

“I Am Shakespeare” (comedy) 1 Minute

Monologue Description: “I Am Shakespeare” is a comedy about a man who thinks he is the real William Shakespeare.

Character Description:  In this monologue, Shakespeare is a man who believes he is actually the real William Shakespeare.  He prances around Union Square Park in Manhattan and talks aloud to people and anything that will listen.  He speaks with a terrible English accent and the fact that he is drunk does not add to his blubbery.

SHAKESPEARE:

Behold, I pray you!  Lend me your ears!

I am Shakespeare, Willy, Will Shakespeare…

We are swollen men.  Men who have been drowned and kept under water for centuries.  Look at yourself cousin.  A man who can only be wiser from the burdens you have come to bare.  What a shambles!  Your brothers, they think they have gotten away with their wrongs.  Tis a mockery!  Tis a joke!  Tis a slander!  These two buffoons who neither tither nor thither, come as one to fight against the good spirits of angels.  EH!  Such lunacy!  Such infantile delight!  They have wronged their last man!

(beat)

(he looks at a young boy eating and sniffs in the air)

Is that a fig newton I see before me?  Tis nobler in my mind but more so in my belly…

(burps)

Yea.

Revenge shall be mine.  All the worlds afoul, gone wrong, dead.  Oh pitty me sir, pity me madam, pity me Christ and pity me pity.

I am who I say I am in this drunken stupor of madness.  Judge me not for I am Sir William Shakespeare, the great English writer of, of, of England or London or somewhere or other.

(recites a half ass poem)

The pain of man,

from her wretched heart,

the quick of man,

stunned from every start,

and on and on and on we go…

Back to Yorick!  Good day!  I bid you Adieu!

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