“Cookie?” (serio-comedy) 1 Minute

Monologue Description: “Cookie?” is about properly raising a child.

Character Description:  In this monologue, Sedja is baby sitting her best friends daughter, who happens to throw a tantrum because she wants a cookie.  Sedja works for her best friend as a babysitter/housekeeper.   Sedja speaks with a Jamaican accent.

SEDJA: 

Now you stop that crying child.  Stop that crying.  Save the drama fo’ yo’ mama.  I ain’t your mama.  Don’t cry to me, I ain’t yo mama.  Pffff.  If I was yo mama I’d whip yo ass.  Whip yo ass child.  Now stop that crying. 

That’s right.  Good girl.  Now, ask me nicely…what do you want?

(beat)

A cookie?  Is that what you want sweetheart?  Yeah?  Okay.  A cookie it will be. 

(gives the young girl a cookie)

You see?  All you have to do is ask nicely.  Ask and you shall receive sayeth the Lord.  Mmmmm hmmmmm.  Thatta girl, you eat that cookie on the napkin.  Don’t spill no crumbs on the floor, especially after I just washed them. 

You see?  When you kick and cry and throw a tantrum, it gets you nowheres.  Okay?  You are a young lady.   Am I right?  And young ladies don’t throw a tantrum.

Good girl.