“Broken Record” (comedy) 1 Minute

Monologue Description: “Broken Record” is about missing your best friend.

Character Description:  In this monologue, Sandra complains to her sister about how her friend is boyfriend obsessed.

SANDRA: 

She always has to put her boyfriend first.  Whatever she does, it’s about him.  She is whipped.  I have heard of men being whipped but a woman?  I have never seen a woman so up her boyfriend’s ass in all my life.  I mean come on now, really.

All she ever does is talk about him!  Mike this and Mike that and (imitates her friend)  ”Oh he is just the greatest boyfriend in the whole wide world.”  On and on and on, she’s like a broken record.  She never skips a beat.  The other day I had to hear her go on about how he buys her flowers everytime she gets her period.  I mean really, do I really need to hear about that?  Yippy ki yay is what I want to tell her. 

God forbid she comes out with the girls for once.  I have to literally sit there and beg her like a dog.  I wag my tail and bark pleases at her until she gives in to me and by the time she agrees to come out, it’s like I don’t even have the energy to enjoy her company because I spent so much time to get her to come out in the first place.  GOD!!!! 

(sighs)

Okay.  I’m getting myself all worked up again.  She used to be my best friend.  We did everything together.  Tanning, shopping, eating, shopping, pedicures and manicures and shopping, hair appointments and shopping, clubbing and oh do I miss the shopping.  Do you know my credit card bill is almost zero balanced?!  Can you believe that?  I haven’t gone shopping in months.  That is disgraceful, a nightmare and she needs to know.  I have to tell her.  I must talk to her and let her know that we need to have more girl time together because this is unhealthy.  I NEED TO SPEND MONEY!!!

I miss my boots and my dresses and my jeans and my tight shirts and my lingerie and all my little jewelery thingies and God, I am losing my sense of style.  I can’t even look at Cosmopolitan, InStyle, Vanity Fair, Glamour, People, all of the subscriptions I have are running out!  I don’t deserve to read them.  I am not worthy.  I am becoming a disgrace to style!

I can’t cope!  I am going to talk to her once and for all, in order to save us!  It is the only chance left!!!