“And Then I Got High” (comedy) 1 Minute

Monologue Description: “And Then I Got High”  is a comedy about how retarded one can act when smoking pot.

Character Description:  In this monologue, Marilyn is high on smoking pot and she is not really making much sense.  She is smoking pot with her girlfriends in their college dorm room.

MARILYN: 

(Marilyn is high and I mean highhhhhhh on some weed.)

(she takes a big puff of a joint)

Oh my God, I mean, that is what I’m saying, you get me right, you get me?  EXACTLY.  EXACTLY.  That is soooo bad ass, so bad ass.  It is.  I don’t know what I’m talking about right now but it’s good.  It’s soooo good.  Yeah.  And when it fell, it fell hard.  HAHAHAHA.  Remember that? 

 HAHAHAHA.  Remember when you were trying to screw in the light bulb and you leaned too far and fell off the stool.

(she catches a laughing attack)

HAHAHAHAHAHA

I can’t.  I just can’t take it.  I mean, thank God, you didn’t get hurt or anything but still, that shit was funny. 

COMPUTERS!  Aren’t computers a great invention?  I mean come on, really.  Amazing.  I can’t imagine what I would do if I lived during the neanderthal days.  I mean, no way.  I would just roll up in a ball in my cave and cry my eyes out.  Can you imagine what people smelt like back then?  Oh, the women of those days,  tragic, just tragic.  I mean, how did people have sex?  How did they wash themselves, in lakes or something?  Did they know to even stay clean?  Whew!

TAMPONS!  I had a fit with my tampon the other day.  I need a new brand.

JELLYBEANS!  Can you pass me over a coconut jellybean?  Are we out, we’re out?

PUPPIES!  Let’s get a puppy, we can all chip in and we can hide it from the school.  HAHAHA

MICKEY MOUSE!  I love my Mickey, he holds the Italian flag and he is just the bomb.  At least I have Mickey.

(she starts singing)

“Bomb diddy!  The bomb, bomb diddy.”

(she takes a big puff of a joint)

HAHAHAHA.  Don’t hate the playa, hate the game….WAAAAAZZZAAAAAP!!!!

BRIAN!  Did you call him, did you?  Call him now and be like, waaaz up stud?!  Be like, yo, you are HOT BABY.  Damn, did you see him the other day after football practice?  He had all that sweat and dirt in his face and I was like, BLA BLA BLA.  Like Missy Eliot, just BLA BLA BLA.  Damn!  That boy is firm!  FIRM!  I wanted to eat him.  I did.  I just wanted to take a small bite.  You should call him, tell him to come chill out with us. 

WAAAAZAAAAP!!!!