“CHERRALINA’S FORTY YEAR REVENGE” (comedy) 2 Minutes

Filed Under 2 Minute Monologues, Female Monologues - Comedy, Monologues |

Photo Courtesy Pikaluk

Monologue Description: “Cherralina’s Forty Year Revenge” is a comedy about a wife who has always desired to kill her husband, since the first moment she met eyes with him.

Character Description: In this monologue, Cherralina, an old Italian woman, confesses to her daughter, that she plans to kill her father. Cherralina is a tiny, frail, wrinkly old woman. She has one eye that protrudes and her other eye that squints. She wears a kerchief around her head and is dressed in all black. She has a slight Italian-American accent. She comes off as a woman who is always in extreme self control. She can express rage and love with a blink of the eye, all within her emotional control, whenever she sees fit. Her stare alone can make most men afraid. This is an extremely passionate woman, every word she utters has passion behind it.

Teresa, (the daughter) is a middle-aged, beautiful woman who looks ten years younger than her actual age. She has long straight and dark brown hair, fair skin and large round brown cappucino colored eyes. Her figure does not reflect that she has had children.

Setting: [We are looking at a polished marble floor to a living room of the Di Napoli family home. There is a couch, upstage right that sits catty cornered. It is a deep auborn with clear thick plastic covering it. In front of the couch is a very large, thick wooden coffee table. A curtain and window stand behind the couch and there is also a lamp with an expensive shade that sits on top of a marble corner end box sized table. Various pictures of the pope hang on the walls in expensive gold frames. Large crystal candle holders with tall off-white candles sitting inside them.

Downstage left, there is the Kitchen. There is food and cookies set on top of marble kitchen counter tops. A few off-white cabinets (wood) are above the counter tops and reveal the completion of the pantry.]

(Cherralina paces back and forth in her living room. Her daughter sits on the couch.)

CHERRALINA:

I’m going to poison him. Tonight. Yes. I have waited forty years for this moment. You see, forty years of suffering. Forty years of waiting. Forty years, that felt like ten lifetimes, times ten thousand, times infinity, times forever, times (she cannot think of anything else to say)…well, you get the picture.

I am going to kill him. I am going to watch him die slowly, ever so slowly. Yes. I have a friend, Nicklebaum the chemist and he has cooked me up something special, something that is going to turn your father Tommasso into a vegetable.

I cannot wait another minute but I must. I must.

After I feed Tommasso his dinner and his favorite red wine, it will take exactly forty-two minutes, eighteen seconds and 3 half seconds, for the posion from his meal, to begin taking affect.

Oooh, I cannot wait, I cannot wait to watch him spit and spew and kick and thrust and contort and sweat and bake in pain. His insides will begin to turn to sour dust, his lungs will go aflame, his heart will beat rapidly, his tongue will begin to shrink, his eyes will bulge, his hair will stiffen up, his fingers will coil his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his (she cannot think of anything else to say)…eh, you get the picture.

HE WILL SUFFER! But nothing, nothing can ever compare to what he cost me for forty years.

Now listen, I know he is your father but you must understand, your father is an animal, he is a demonic creature. I’ve always despised your father. Hatred beyond the mountain tops! Higher than the heavens!

I wanted him dead, the first minute I rest my eyes on him, I wanted him dead but, what was I to do, I had no other options. I have always been an ugly woman, let’s face it. Even I wouldn’t date or marry me. That fact alone, pissed me off with your father. How could a man lower himself to my standards? For that alone, DEATH was his calling. You see, I had to go with what I was given, so we got married, had family, bought house and here we are, FORTY YEARS of agony later.

Bahk! I’ve never loved your papa. My happiness has been thinking of his death. I have thought thousands of ways but I waited patiently for you and your brother to move out, get married and have your own children. Now that that has taken place, revenge is mine.

TONIGHT, I get my chance for freedom. FREEEEEEEEEDOM!