“Drinking, Drugs and—THE REST” (drama) 1 Minute

Photo Courtesy Quemas 

Monologue Description: “Drinking, Drugs and —THE REST” is about a drama from the point of view of a writer’s life.

Character Description: In this monologue,  WADE, a struggling writer with substance abuse issues, talks to a bartender at his local pub. 

WADE: 

How else am I supposed to face the pain? …Writing, it’s kept me alive so far but…[sighs]  I don’t see it healing me forever…for the time being at least, maybe, we’ll see how far we get, won’t we?  It [slurs]  jussst slows the process but never stops it completely, never will, a delay unto death…My life is too fucked up.  I love too much and that is my curse.  I love my mother, my father, my sisters, my brother, my grandmothers, a few cousins, a few loyal friends…my ex-girlfriend who left me like a bad dump in the woods, go ahead laugh, it is kind of humorous actually, hahaha, it is what happens when you are spawned from a foul cunt—people, I do love people—humanity—nature, innocence… WRITING, it gets harder to squeeze out the water left in the rag.  I am beginning to dry up and eventually, I will crumble and let the wind blow me away.  Part deliberation, part no way out, part destiny—ALL, no choice.

[sips from his gin and tonic]

Stuck in this black tunnel, trying to make it to the light in time, before the hole closes up…

[beat]

Do you think I’ll make it?…that light.

[sighs]

SO MUCH.  I try to write it out but the fog; it’s unbearable, which is why I resort to the other stuff because it allows me to express what I need to say, without feeling the hurt as much.  Do you get that?  I try to be strong but the demons keep noosing me, whenever I begin to get free.  Somedays, I walk around like Venom, unable to tear off this black sticky shell.  Ah, fug it!  Fug it all man…

[drinks from his gin and tonic]

[clearing his throat, wiping the sweat from his brow]

…I used to have this dream, this dream of me running.  There’s this dark figure that chases me.  It chases me and I run from it.  I wake up just before it grabs me from behind.  Finally, I faced it one night and it was the first time I was face to face with it.  ME.  Ever since I faced it, the dream has never come back.  But, I still feel it around me and I am getting weaker again and I am afraid that one of these nights, he is going to come back.  I am so afraid of it coming back…petrified because when it does, when he comes back, I know I might die.   It calls me, like the man who calls Blanche.   [referring to Streetcar Named Desire]  I spend these nights before I go to bed, shadow boxing, EVERY NIGHT,  hahaha, in order to toughen myself up, in case I meet my challenger in my dreams.  Stupid!  Idiot!  Loser!  Fool!  Criminal! 

Do you want to save me?  You can’t.  No one can, it is my fate and I must live it.   I just hope that my sacrifice is your pleasure…because I do it for YOU.