“DEPARTURE” (drama) 2 Minutes

Photo Courtesy BEN SCICLUNA

Monologue Description: “DEPARTURE” is a drama about trying to make a connection with someone.

Character Description: In this monologue, Mr. Ludlow, a middle-aged man, talks to Marvin, a reckless teenager who likes to start trouble. Mr. Ludlow owns a hardware store and for the past two years has been dealing with Marvin’s vandalism. Mr. Ludlow is a patient man, a good man, a wise man. He feels bad for Marvin, knowing that the boy doesn’t come from a good upbringing. In this monologue, Mr. Ludlow tries to talk some sense into Marvin about changing his ways and finding meaning in his life.

MR. LUDLOW:

Want me to tell you your future? Do you?

(beat)

You know what’s amazing…is that what I do is considered important and what you do is considered asinine. I run a business and you walk around it, like an infant screaming for his mommy’s tit. Are you a man, or do you like to hide behind toy trucks and cars?

Get a life! I won’t stop doing what I do. No matter what and you just have to live with that fact, young man. But you, you will always be the clown who has something to prove, correct? I can live with it because I am stronger than you Marvin. Break my fence, I will build a new one. Burn down my store and I will construct anew. No matter how far you take me, I will take you one step further son.

You never did an honest days work in all your life, have you Marvin? Go get a job! Go BE something. Figure out who the hell you are? I would even give you a job to work for me. It would be a different story if when you watched me, you would LEARN something, wouldn’t it? But you are afraid to open your eyes and that is sad…I feel truly sorry for you and your family.

It really doesn’t matter to me…I’ll keep doing what I do and and you will keep doing what you do, won’t you? Which is what? Spray painting the side of my store? Egging my store windows like you did last spring? Hell, it was probably you who broke the back door window…wasn’t it Marvin? Wasn’t it?

You take out your frustrations on me and you don’t need to Marvin. It isn’t necessary. What I do is necessary…I provide something for the people. I do what I do because I enjoy what I do. What do you enjoy Marvin?

I think YOU need a little departure my friend. You see, you’ve been trying to bother me for quite some time. Do you need attention that badly? Find yourself…maybe make some important discoveries about your life…

Marvin, it doesn’t really matter if you continue on with your nonsense. I know you wish you had a larger impact on my life but you don’t. The best thing you have done for me is help me to improve my work and for that I am thankful. Do you see the security cameras outside? I know it’s you Marvin. I just don’t have the heart to take action against you due to your ignorance. Don’t think I won’t one day Marvin…I am giving you the opportunity to straighten up. I want to see you change because PEOPLE DO CHANGE.

You should be thinking about doing something worthwhile, something that will make a difference, rather than vandalism. Don’t be so insignificant. You can be something more…

“AVOIDING CONFLICT” (drama) 1 Minute

Photo Courtesy PHOTO PROFILER

Monologue Description: “AVOIDING CONFLICT” is a drama about jealous friends.

Character Description: In this monologue, Ruth “goes off” complaining about how a mutual friend always seems to cause “drama”. Ruth complains to Melanie about the same old story regarding this matter.

RUTH:

She is such a liar! When I see her I am going to smack her like a rag doll. That bitch! I can’t believe she said that! How dare she? Oh, does she have it coming to her…hahaha…juuuuuuust wait! The nerve! She’s has some nerve! I would NEVER say that about you Mel…NEVER! Why would I go through all the trouble, buying you those concert tickets, if I didn’t want you to go? Does that make sense? We have both been a fan of that band for years. Why the hell would I NOT want you to come? If anything I would prefer HER not coming. That—ERR!

I NEVER SAID THAT! If that were true, I would just tell you to your face that I didn’t want you to come…or whatever. You know?

She is such a troublemaking bitch. You know what it is? She’s jealous. She’s just jealous because she wants you all to herself. You ever notice that? Whenever we go shopping, or go for instance to the beach, like we did this past Saturday, she always gets all poopy faced if she wasn’t invited. Waa Waaa Waaa. Like a baby! First of all, she always talks about how much she hates the beach and she complains that when we go shopping, we don’t go into the stores SHE wants to go into. Come on! Enough already!

I don’t have a problem and never did with the three of us hanging out. She’s the one who always has conflict and by not inviting her to certain things, AVOIDS CONFLICT.

“NO LUCK WITH MEN” (comedy) 2 Minutes

Photo By JLEE 20

Monologue Description: “NO LUCK WITH MEN” is a comedy about a first date with a little bit of interference.

Character Description: In this monologue, Elizabeth shares her first date with her best friend. She explains to her how she battled a white head on the man’s face, who took her out Friday night.

ELIZABETH:

I have NO LUCK with men. I honestly think I am a pin up girl for horrible first dates. I have to have the record. I have too! Uhhhh, I went out on yet another fabulous date this past Friday and yet again, it was a truly wonderful experience. Are you even tired of hearing my stories yet? Are you?

(sighs)

You know, he is a really cute guy and he has a really cool personality and everything and I’m really trying to look past….

(sighs)

He picks me up at my place and as soon as I swing open my front door, my eyes land right on this enormous white head…WHERE? On his cheek, staring at me, saying “HELLO ELIZABETH, HOW ARE YOU?” Smiling at me. I mean, look, I know the damn white head wasn’t smiling at me okay…but ZAMMO, it was all I saw.

So, he asks if he could use my bathroom and I was more than excited to show him where my bathroom was. Perhaps too excited…I WALKED him right to the door of the bathroom and I kind of kept scratching my cheek to kind of you know, hope that he would catch on or something…I don’t know, I know it was stupid but whatever, I figured it was worth a shot–hoping it would trigger his own awareness of his white head.

Five minutes go by and I am relieved in thinking that if he is in my bathroom for that long, he must be performing surgery on that dangling white head. I hear the toilet flush and out he comes and I kid you not, the damn thing was on his face and it was even bigger than before. No, seriously, I’m not trying to be funny. It grew slightly.

(sighs)

So we leave my place and I pretend to drop my keys. When he bent down to pick them up for me, I pushed myself into him in order to try and pop the zit. I gave him a kind of, light elbow tap in his cheek. I gave him the whole, “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to bump into you, I tripped routine!”. When he stood back up and handed me my keys, the white head was still there but I could clearly see that I aggravated it because a light color pink began circling around it.

FAST FORWARD into the night. We had dinner, we went dancing and now we are just chilling out, having drinks at some Hooca Lounge. I’m feeling good, I have a few drinks in me and I could tell he’s feeling good too. So he begins leaning in on me, real close and normally I wouldn’t mind because like I said, he’s really cute and I like his personality but I wasn’t into it because his white head was screaming vulgarities at me. My mind started playing tricks on me. It was like, “LOOK AT ME ELIZABETH…LOOK AT ME…I WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND…LICK ME ELIZABETH…LICK ME!” I know, I know. Gross but by this point in the night I was having wild thoughts. I was obsessed with this thing.

I made another attempt at popping it. I did, I did. I couldn’t help myself. I took the end of the hooca and I jabbed him dead in his face, directly into the white head AND I SUCCEEDED IN POPPING IT!!!!

I watched it explode and I was like, “YEAH!!!!!” He moaned in pain and was like, “Ah, ah, what the hell was that, ah, AH, ah, AH!” I was like, “Oh my, I my Go—did I, oh boy, did I just…I AM SO SORRY!”

He went to the bathroom and cleaned up and I was great. I felt victorious! I achieved my nights purpose! The rest of the night was great and I was actually able to enjoy his company.

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