“BOOGIE WOOGIE” (comedy) :)~~~ 1 Minute

Photo By DUDUS MAXIMUS

Monologue Description: “BOOGIE WOOGIE” is a comedy about how sometimes something unexpected can change the course of your actions. Or better yet, it’s about a bougar in someone’s nose that happens to be clearly visible for the world to see!

Character Description: In this monologue, Johnny Boy is an actor sharing a funny story with a good friend.

JOHNNY BOY:

When I was living out in Cali I would go visit TVI Actor’s Studio. Anyway, I didn’t know anybody and I would go there often and try to meet like minded people. Anyways, to make a long story short, I was always talking to girls and I did pretty good for myself. I put a decent amount of numbers up on the boards while I was out there, you know? Women in Cali, like guys from New York. It must be the attitude or the way we dress or whatever.

Anyway, I’m sitting down and I’m on the computer and this gorgeous girl comes walking over and stands directly above me and asks if I was going to be using the computer long, which I was but when I looked up at her to respond, I noticed she had a swinging bougar in her notstril!

Now, the thing was swinging back and forth while she breathed and I began wondering when it was going to use me for a crash landing. I wanted to jump out of my seat and avoid the collision! I wanted to tell her, “HEY, YOU HAVE A BOUGAR SWINGING BACK AND FORTH IN YOUR RIGHT NOSTRIL!!!” But I couldn’t say that. So what did I do? I got up quickly and told her I was done using the computer and that it was all hers. I still got her number, I mean, I wasn’t going to let a little boogie come between us.

I narrowly escaped.

“ANOTHER DEPRESSING MONOLOGUE” (drama) 1-2 Minutes

Photo Courtesy UCKHET

Monologue Description: “ANOTHER DEPRESSING MONOLOGUE” is a drama about a man who talks to his therapist.

Character Description: In this monologue, Henry James, a middle-aged man, talks to his therapist about his latest bout with depression and how he has been trying to put a positive spin on it all.

HENRY JAMES:

The stress could kill me and everytime it builds up there is a switch inside of me that somehow acts like a coolant. It’s cause I care too deeply about blowing my top…I am afraid that if I ever do, it will be the end of me in some way. The love in me causes it but the love in me prevents it. Make sense? Life, this life I live, is not an easy one but then again, whose life is easy?

I was watching something by Sam Slovick on myspace and I found it to be both sad and inspiring at the same time. Sad for obvious reasons…you have drug addicted people on skid row…that’s depressing. There was this guy named Chuck Nitty who was selling dope and he got busted. He always had the dream of becoming a rap star and he was given 400 hours of community service to a church. It was by going to church that he found God.

Now he follows God and he pursues his music career with his group. Instead of selling narcotics, he’s hustling his CD’s. He also takes care of his two kids.

I began thinking about this man’s struggle and what his daily challenges are. It’s not an easy life. He actually made me feel slightly and I mean SLIGHTLY better about my own life but, I don’t know, I just hope everything turns out okay…these last six months of my life have been nothing but fucking hell but I, I keep fighting and I won’t give up and I believe in my heart that if I keep fighting and I am strong enough to get through this darkness…than, overall, this won’t be another depressing monologue…Great pain inspires great goodness…so, it’s worth living it out fully…

“SIDE FACE” (comedy) 1 Minute

Photo By DALLY

Monologue Description: “SIDE FACE” is a comedy about a first date with someone who has terrible breath odor.

Character Description: In this monologue, Fran talks to her girlfriend’s about another date she had but this time the guy had really bad breath.

FRAN:

It was bad. It was REALLY bad. The worst kind I ever experienced. I had to give him the side face the whole night. Like, what does it take to actually go brush your teeth? You know? I mean, come on, really. We joked about this type of thing before, haven’t we? People with bad breath…I mean, it’s almost annoying to even bring it up but honestly, this guy’s breath was the worst bomb breath I ever dealt with.

Everytime he spoke it was like hot lava being poured on my face.

(she looks to one side)

Just like this, this is what I kept doing whenever he spoke. You think he would even notice. No, he just kept on talking. The whole night. I couldn’t even look at him. It was such a turn off. Never again. I had him drop me off early and I told him. I said, “Listen, your breath stank and you should really think twice about it next time you take a girl like me out.” With that, I stepped out of his car and walked into my house and that was it. Never spoke to the guy again. He tried reaching me a few times but I just ignore his call. Like I want to go back out with Mr. Shit Breath.

Nasty.

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