“JASPER THE WHALE” a one-act monologue tragedy by Joseph Arnone

(A MASSIVE sculpture of a dark blue/black whale rests stage right. The whale is HEAVILY graffitied and stickered with an assortment of words, phrases and random sayings. This enormous whale has a slight smirk but this smirk can have many different meanings, depending on how one views it. The tale of the whale swoops upward but is damaged. A deep, dark red wooden bench rests diagonal, stage left, facing the whale. A tall light post stands erect in the center, between the whale and the bench, illuminating both, from the apparent pitch black darkness of night. Grass, dirt and concrete share equal territory around the whale and bench. There are shards of glass scattered around the ground from broken alcohol bottles. The faint sound of the ocean’s waves crashing can be heard not far off in the quiet distance.)

(CHARLIE, sits on the bench, with a bottle of whiskey in his hand. He is dressed sloppily in a suit and looks as though he is at is wits end. Charlie is in his fifties, a man who has the look of hard days written all over his friendly face. He is bald and unshaven and is hunched over in his demeanor. Charlie speaks in a tired, groggily toned voice; a man exhausted with life. He speaks with a THICK, New Yawwwk accent, with roots stemming from the lower east side of Manhattan)

CHARLIE:

(Charlie whistles a sad song to himself for a moment, he sniffs a weak chuckle and then drinks from his bottle, muttering “… I am the Candy man…”)

(Charlie suddenly stares at the large whale before him, as if noticing it for the first time)

How’s it going whale? (beat) You look as beat up as me…(chuckles) When did you get here? (he sniffs) You know me, you remember me; (singing softly) I am the Candy Man…(laughs uneasily to himself) (to the whale) Aren’t I? (laughs again, uneasily to himself) What are you smirking at? Huh. Or is that a frown? Yeah, yeah…the candy man…Wanna sip? (laughs at his bad joke)…thirty five years getting shot at, in this jungle of life, they never took me down, whale—too strong for ‘em—dodged all them bullets, for sure…always knew when to duck or hide behind a tree…sometimes I would even hide IN the trees…never thought I’d be doing this, at my age…I don’t sell the candy, the kids do—hahaha, imagine me selling the candy door to door? Ha! What a riot that would be? At least I was never that desperate…but I never thought I’d be doing this, so long…it’s not that it’s bad, no; I’ve had some joyful moments; especially during the middle years, when things were good…those were the only good years…when everything was together…EVERYTHING—eh, it’s kept money in my pocket, food in my belly and clothes on my back—even if they’re not the bestest clothes…I just never went past it. God knows, I’ve tried—I’ve tried but I just never had the luck. How ‘bout you?! How’s your luck? (drinks from his whiskey) Why, you got all kinds of stickers and shit on your body…that wasn’t the way they made you, was it? (sighs) Yeah, yeah…

(Charlie stands up and walks closer to the whale. He peers over, reading one of the stickers)

…if you want a good time, call…(trying to make out the name) FFF, FFFrrraaancesca…Nine-One-Seven, eeehhh whatever, whichever…(reading another sticker) …Grady and Ruth fucked here…My oh my…You poor whale…I guess that makes you a sperm whale, don’t it? (Charlie chuckles hardily) (he steps aside and looks at the whale again inquisitively)

How does it feel to be the billboard for peoples crap?

(pause)

My feelings, exactly, friend. I’ve had my share of slogans and name calling, plastered all over my skin, my whoooooole life. But that’s okay, not trying to give you my sob story, just stating the facts. Trust me…Yeah, yeah. The truth is always in the facts, isn’t it? Ain’t that something? What happens when you muster up enough courage to face the truth, to face those facts…what do you do then, when it’s too much too bare? There is no greater truth than the truth of imbalance. You know what I mean? (he stares at the whale as if he is going to get an answer) You don’t, do you? Eh, you’re just a whale though, what do you know? (he gently taps the side of the whale a few times and takes a big swig from his whiskey) Yep! Ahhh! The scale has finally tipped…

(Charlie looks up at the sky)

Ahhh man…where has it all gone? (he ponders) When I was a young boy, I used to go to the corner store for my mother…I must have been nine years old or so…it was a big deal for me to cross the street…but she would only let me cross the street if I would go to the store for her…ha! But now, what was my point—oh yeah, the point of my story is that there was a man there, JASPER—his name was Jasper, the coolest guy ever, a giant fat man with the happiest smirk you ever saw, IN FACT, you kind of look like him in a way, without the glasses though. …Jasper was the same man that helped me get started in the candy business when I grew up some…I’m going to call you Jasper the whale. If you don’t mind…I used to love going to the store for my mother cause, Jasper would always give me free candy. I was spoiled that way but I think he had a crush on my mother, so he treated me extra nice. (he warmly chuckles) —BUT, he always used to look at me and tell me how he wished he could do it aaaaall over again. I never understood it, but I always felt it…I’m fifty-eight years old and I’m realizing that time keeps pushing ahead and there ain’t a damn thing I could do about it…not only do I feel what Jasper meant, but now I can actually understand, what Jasper meant…

I wanna go back and I can’t…I wish I could go back…maybe just twenty years, just twenty years…I know so much now, I would definitely make the right moves. With time on my side and with what I know now, damn, I could achieve it all.

(getting amplified) Hell, that idea I have about the billboards. You know, the one I was telling you about last time. You remember, right? That is one heck of an idea, if I ever had one! The money that is waiting to be made! Imagine? I just need to convince the guy I’m working for, I just gotta pitch ‘em the right pitch and I think he’ll go for it. Don’t you think? It has a lot of promise, right? Sure. I’ve been doing good though, there are a few places that I hit this past week…a few diners…that one guy, that greek guy Simone, he’s gonna give me a shot, I could feel it…I told him all about my ideas with the place mats, you know, the thin like paper that your meal rests on. I told him all about how, with the right ads, he could make—well, he sounds like he wants to go for it…and then just up the block, right up the street, the realtor, Mr. Carbonasco, he wants me to design his website, for his real estate company. I talked to him and I could make a nice dime off that guy…supposed to pick up a check this week, MONDAY…thank God cause it will cover this months rent…thank—God…it’s a numbers game, it’s all about the numbers. I just can’t wait until everything pans out for me…once I get the commission from that advertising guy for the billboards, and once I land a few accounts, we’re talking big money Jasper…big money. You talkin’ ‘bout—this guys got seventy eight different billboards all over the state. I want to make them all digital, get those flashy lights up there, with AAAAAll the big movie companies…there the biggest draw…a just gotta land one and I’ll be on the move!!! (his excitement suddenly fades) Yeah, yeah…Yeah, yeah…I am the Candy Man…that’s what he told me, my son…he said, Dad, all you ever amounted to was being a candy man…my son, said this to me. (beat) He’s right? Who am I to give him advice? What the fuck have I ever achieved in my Goddamn life?

(beat)

(exploding) I’ve sacrificed my life! I’ve sacrificed my wife! My kids! My soul! Where has it gotten me? Where? I have given everything to get nothing but to remain where I am, for the past thirty five years…selling candy! Doing this! Am I not capable of more? Why God?! Why?! Why couldn’t I amount to anything more? Why did all my dreams fail? All my efforts? All my passions? Haven’t I suffered enough? Haven’t I sacrificed it all? Don’t I deserve a crumb? Just a crumb, a nibble, a taste…FLAVOR…just to feel what it’s like to be one of the big guys. To walk in a room and actually be respected, without worrying about what’s in my pocket and how I pray that the person I’m taking out, won’t go over my budget. Always a budget! There was always a budget! Pinching pennies! Borrowing from Paul to pay back Peter. Hiding! Trapped! Running! Dodging the phone calls and knocks on the door from my bill collectors—when all I’m trying to do in my life is get ahead. Just once God, just once, I want to know what it would be like to own something…to wake up one morning and have something—THAT IS MINE! To open my eyes, stress free and be able to breath…to go out for breakfast, to buy myself a pair of jeans even, to be the man that I know I should have been…to not be this—what am I? What have I amounted to? I’m the dime in the jar, who doesn’t have a companion…that’s what I am, let’s face the truth. I’M A LOSER!!!!

(He throws his whiskey bottle at the smirk of the whale)

I want to be able to look into my son’s eyes and tell him that, YOUR FATHER IS A WINNER!

(Charlie is exhausted. He resorts lazily to sitting back down on the bench.)

(Charlie begins to cry)

I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…I’m so sorry Jasper…my friend…I didn’t mean to do it…all those terrible things, the lying, the stealing, the begging, the hustling, the cheating…I’m no good…I didn’t mean to throw my drink in your face…you’re the only friend I have left…I’m sorry—don’t leave me like the others…don’t.

(he takes off his suit jacket and begins wiping up the dripping liquor from the whales face)

Here…I’ll clean you right up. We’re in this together. I’m not like the others…I’ll take care of you…we’ll take care of eachother…

(he stops and inspects his cleaning)

There. That’s better isn’t it? You forgive me? Hahaha. Thatta boy.

(pause)

What I gave was never enough…It’s not that I haven’t tried…hahaha, I’VE TRIED. I’ve done it all! I am a man who has more knowledge in business than anybody. I draw circles around people—(stops himself) (sighs) … I am the Candy man. I look at the kids these days and it’s not what it was, twenty years ago. I usually get the kids who come from nothing—the kind of kids who live in trailer homes or real terrible neighborhoods. The kids that have to work, to help pay the bills. Those kids. Eh, I’ve always been able to identify with those kids. I’ve always been able to connect with them—like we speak the same language, talk the same talk, walk the same walk…I see myself in them and I feel like it’s my responsibility to make them successful. Kids…I do, I want them all to be successful. Some, I try to teach and coach and guide…just maybe one of them will grow up and make it big and they will look back on their own lives and remember that I had something to give them, that helped them get where they were…in that sense, I still made it and I can be content with that to a degree…to know I left something behind.

(Charlie touches the whale’s tale to comfort it)

Your tale is badly wounded, Jasper. I know, it’s your time, as it is my time. We’re both just a couple of guys who can’t swim any further…

When I was a kid, I would distance myself from the world by going under water to my pool in the backyard. I would hold my breath for as long as I could and simply…meditate myself away from everyone and everything…I would get completely lost in some foreign world, floating, relaxed, numb…happy; before I’d have to come up once again for air. How I wish I could have stayed that way…like you…

I’m ready to go lose myself in my world again…this time for good. This time, I am not going to come up for air…this time, I’m gonna keep going, keep falling, keep floating…

(beat)

(aloud) …I never meant to let YOU down…

(he kisses the whale and walks off into the darkness, towards the ocean. We hear the faint splash of Charlie diving into the water. Music rises and merges with that of the oceans waves to that of a soothing, yet haunting bass. The light pole begins to slowly fade out as Charlie, slowly, ever so slowly…fades out)

CURTAIN GENTLY FALLS