“CRACKPOT” (serio-comedy) 1 Minute

Photo Courtesy MALTESEN

Monologue Description: “CRACKPOT” is a serio-comedy about responsibility.

Character Description: In this monologue, P.J. talks to his friend about how he should NOT hire a guy they both know for work because he is not reliable.

P.J.:

Listen, the guy’s a crackpot, alright? Look, he doesn’t know how to be responsible. He doesn’t. Remember that time I asked him to go to the butcher and buy an assortment of stuff? He wanted to help out with the barbecue, so I gave him a list. I wanted ribs, I wanted steaks, burgers, the whole lot…what does he bring back? Some hot dogs and chicken. I wanted to crack this kid so bad but I know he’s a bit touched and I thought better of it.

It’s not that you can’t trust him. You can. You could trust him but you can’t depend on him. There’s the difference. God didn’t develop that dependable part of his brain. What do you want from me? He’s a crackpot. Woof! Woof! He’s like a dog that chases it’s tail…always going in circles and never getting anywhere. The guy can’t walk a straight line if you paid him.

I feel bad but he’s dumb. Let’s face it. He’s not the sharpest tool in the shed, that’s for sure. hahahaha.

But you know what I mean? You understand? He can’t work for you. He will definitely screw something up and then you will have even more headaches. Forget it. Find someone else. I’ll ask some of the boys over at work and see if anybody could use extra work. The way things are nowadays, I don’t think that will be much of a problem.

Okay?