“TURNING 30″ (comedy) 1 Minute

Photo Courtesy STEVE LONGUS

Monologue Description: “TURNING 30″ is a comedy about acknowledging you are getting older.

Character Description: In this monologue, LA Brendan is thirty years old and experiences his first thirty year old story which he shares with one of his good friends over dinner.

LA BRENDAN:

I’m looking in the bathroom mirror last night and I’m doing a little grooming. I noticed earlier in the day at work, that I had an abundance of gray hairs popping up everywhere at my sideburns. Now, I’ve been getting gray and silver color hair at random, since I was in my early twenties. In more recent years I’ve been acquriing an assortment of gray hairs at the sides of my head and sideburns but upon closer examination in my bathroom mirror, I found that I had more gray hairs than I was able to pluck with my tweezer. I couldn’t believe it!

I must have spent an hour in front of my mirror plucking all the gray hairs I could find. I think I got them all but I know they will be back and now I’m thinking about dying my hair black… I’ve dyed my hair before but now I think I should do it more regularly.

But here’s the best part! I look in the middle of my chest and I saw a gray hair. I figured it was one of the gray hairs from my head. I kept swiping at it expecting it to fall off but it wouldn’t fall off. So I gave it a hard scratch, still, nothing. Than I grabbed it and pulled at it and I realized it was attached to my freaking chest!!!

Now, I just turned thirty okay, it’s one thing to get gray hairs on my head but now on my chest?!

Weird shit to discover while alone late at night in front of a mirror, let me tell you. hahaha!