“Cock Blocker” (comedy) 1-2 Minutes

Photo Courtesy RUBY SWOON

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Teenage Monologue Thursdays

Monologue Description: “COCK BLOCKER” is a comedy about how some people get in the way of what could have been a sex festive night.

Character Description:  In this monologue,  CHUCK is a young lad, maybe eighteen, nineteen years old and he’s in college.  One of his boys has been blowing up his spot whenever he macks it to a girl and in this monologue he confronts the cock blocking friend about it.

CHUCK:

The point that I’m getting at Ralph, is that you’re a cock blocker.  You are, you are…you’re a cock blocker.  Whenever we go out, like just last Friday, with that girl, that blond, the tall one with the big tits…you cock blocked me man.   I’m there, talking up a storm with this girl, she’s feeling me, I’m feeling her and low and behold here comes Mr. Big Swinging Dick, bringing down his gauntlet, right dead smack in between me and big tits.  

(beat)

It’s not even that.  It’s not even what you say bro.  It’s how you say it, with your indirect innuendo’s and put downs.  You always make me the little guy.  Like I’m your young, dumb irresponsible brother.  And you’re so obnoxious.  Obnoxious to the point where you embarrass yourself.  When was the last time you landed a girl man?  

(beat)

When was the last time you brought a girl back to your dorm?

(beat)

That’s what I’m talking about.  You screw up my deal and you can’t close you’re own. Do me a favor, stay away from my mojo bro.  This is the third time this month Ralphy Boy and this last one was HOT.  God, she probably had those strawberry nipples that I love, I was picturing them all up in my…EH!  FORGET IT!  Bro, you’re my bro and we are boys but you have poor wing man skills.  Poor isn’t even the word! Fucking terrible, rotten, dead man on campus skills!

Work on it.  Work on your game and stop fouling up mine g.  That’s my point.  

We cool?

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