“What’s In An Ear?” (serio-comedy) 1 Minute

October 23, 2009 by The Monologue Blogger

Filed under 1 Minute Monologues, MB Library, Male Monologues - Serio/Comic

Photobucket
Photo Courtesy DAVI SOMMERFELD

(An enormous ear rests center stage)

(A small man enters from stage left wearing a top hat and suit to match)

(The man stops five feet before the ear, takes off his top hat and bows. He places the top hat back on his head before speaking)

EDGAR: Good day. Do you mind if I climb inside your ear? (beat) I promise to be gentle. I won’t hurt you, you have my word. I promise not to be long. I know you’ve let others come into your ear. You’ve allowed the world of voices to enter your ear. I was hoping I may sit inside for a moment. Would that be safe?

(beat)

Well, thank you kindly. I appreciate your generosity. It is so difficult these days.

(he climbs inside the ear)

So troublesome. Really, it is. So painfully troublesome. Too many distractions exist. So many confusions. Wouldn’t you agree? If one mind can rule it’s own mind…

(he takes off his top hat and wipes the sweat from his forehead with a handkerchief)

So now I can tell you about what happened to me last Sunday. (asks himself) Was it last Sunday? It WAS last Sunday that I went out to the store and bought some butter. (laughing himself into hysteria) Isn’t that hysterical? Went to the store and bought some butter. Where else can something like that happen? Only here. Only here.

(long pause.)

Dull.

(long pause.)

There is nothing worse than to get misled. That’s what happened to her. She was misled. Sucked into the winds of venom like a lamb being led to a pack of hungry wolves. But there was only one wolf. One angry ass wolf. The mother wolf. She had thick white fur and gorgeous blue eyes. They glimmered when she walked, the eyes.

There is nothing worse than to get misled. That’s what happened to her. She was misled. (says quickly) Like a little itty bitty kitty catty crossing a five lane highway while running blindfolded with cotton in her ears. BAM!!!! SPIN!!!!! LAND!!!! SLIDE!!! You’re out!!!!

I apologize. I promised you I wouldn’t hurt you. Sorry for that burst of energy.

(beat)

It’s so hard on us. Everything flashes violently around like a moth circling a candle, but it’s not the moth I watch nor the candle but rather the popping noise one hears after.

Can I climb back out of your ear now? I told you I wouldn’t be long.

I’ll be back my friend. Good day.

(he places his top hat back on his head)

(he exits stage right)

“The Waiter” (serio-comedy) 1 Minute Photo Courtesy INDEPENDENT MAN Follow Me On Twitter: @JosephArnone Monologue...
“Mama Sita, Ma Bahama” (serio-comedy) 1 Minute Photo Courtesy CHRIS METCALF (stares fuzzily at young Spanish...
“One” (tragedy) 1 Minute Photo Courtesy _MARMOTA BEING: Where’d I go? I was walking...
“Show Time” (serio-comedy) 1 Minute Photo Courtesy CLAUDIO GENNARI Monologue Description: “Show Time” is...
“All Systems Go” (serio-comedy) 1 Minute Photo Courtesy CRYSTI Follow Meeeeeeee on Twitttttter: (oink oink!) @JosephArnone...