“The Sound of Slippers” (drama) 3 Minutes

Photo Courtesy LEX IN THE CITY

AUNT EDNA:   Stage is empty — black.  A woman’s voice is heard offstage right.  The sound of slippers produced from her mouth when she moves. Sssccccuge  Sssccccuge, Ssscccuge,  Ssscccuge.  She is now seen centerstage rear.  Pause.  No movement.  She continues onstage.  The sound of slippers.  Sssccccuge  Sssccccuge, Ssscccuge,  Ssscccuge.  She stops abruptly further downstage center.  Pause.  She pants.  Pause.  She stares straight out to the audience in a daze.  A white beam of light turns on from the rear of the stage, creating a large—Sssccccuge  Sssccccuge! She moves further down stage center.  She abruptly stops.  Pause.  She stares straight out to the audience in a daze.  Beat.  An elderly woman.  Beat.  She stands center stage utterly, EXHAUSTED.  She breathes three hard exhales—haaah-haaah-haaah. Pause.  She slowly brings the heavy bag she carries down towards the ground.  When she finally releases the bag, her body remains slightly hunched over to her left side, too tired to stand straight up.  Her hand and arm dangle inches away from the bag below.  Her fingers wiggle.  Pause.  Her face is wrinkled and miserable, almost appearing as if she could be wearing a mask.  Rubbery.  A weathered face with lipstick smeared heavily over her lips.  Her hair is enormously high and thick and gray, causing her thin and bony body to be more noticeable.  Her clothes are tight to her body.  For pants she wears spandex and for a shirt she wears a grey turtle neck sweater.  Let’s not forget about those kicking six inch heels!  Her fingers wiggle.  Three seconds go by.  She abruptly stops wiggling her fingers.

Long Pause.  This is Edna…I am Edna. Long Pause. I continue to stare blankly out. Beat. I blink by opening my eyes wide and closing them slowly, opening my eyes wide and closing them slowly.  I do this a few times with long black fake eyelashes.  Pause.  I tilt my head as I speak mechanically, PERIOD

DOT DOT DOT He went out and bought me a pair of midgets EXCLAMATION  Crazy ass nephew of mine; from the land of the littles, little my ass EXCLAMATION  I wrestled those little tykes back to their native land.  Showed them who’s boss.  Good ole’ Edna still got it!  Sure, one of ‘em knocked one of my teeth out; not sure which one but certainly one of them did.  Felt more like an object than a knuckle.  I’ve been hit before, so I would know and it sure as hell didn’t feel like no midget punch that’s for sure.  That’s for sure, alright.  That’s for sure. Beat Period

Pause. Caaaa daaaaca couldn’t even bi caca because if he came from the front I would have STOMPED out the little fucker.  I would have stomped and jumped and bounced and dragged my feet up and down his spinal cord and I would have cracked each and every vertebrae I could dig my six inch heels into and craaaaa and kaaaa and dgraaa, gaaaa DAAA!  Beat Period

I would have.  Even though the other one was kinda cute and I didn’t mind him so much when he was munchy munchy munchy krab krab craaa out my back.  Felt nice.  Truly and genuinely I could not say this any more sincerely as I possibly can but it was GRAND.  The little bastard was the biggest yet, the biggest; yet…go figure, mysteries of life. 

Long Pause.  This is Edna…I was Edna. Long Pause.

She picks up the bag she set down earlier.  Slowly; mechanically.  Her posture evens out and is no longer slumped to one side.  She slwoly turns around.  Sssccccuge  Sssccccuge!  Pause.  She pants.  Pause.  The white beam of light turns off.  She moves.  The sound of slippers is produced from her mouth.  Sssccccuge  Sssccccuge, Sssccccuge  Sssccccuge.  She abruptly stops.  She let’s out a painful moan.  Ooooooooo…Oooooooooo!  Pause.  She walks.  Sssccccuge  Sssccccuge, Sssccccuge  Sssccccuge.  Sssccccuge  Sssccccuge, Sssccccuge  Sssccccuge!  Pause.  She is no longer seen.  She is offstage center right.  All that is left is her voice.   Pause.  The stage is empty — black.

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