“Twenty Sweaty Mexican Men” (serio-comedy) 2 Minutes

Photo Courtesy Eva The Weaver

The Adventurer:  But WHY?  Why did her violet eyes match the color of the sky?  She must have been six years old and wore a yellow dress with mirrors dangling from the bottom; the shape of animals.  The sun was bouncing off the elephant, the lion, the bear and the bird—right into my eyes, causing a warm sensation in my brain.

Violet eyes ran off.  I followed her down a long cobble stone street, which led me to an old fashioned Western movie styled bar.  I swung both wooden doors wide open as I stepped in and was met with about twenty sweaty Mexican men.  (beat)  These men made the skin on my neck peel back and my eyes open wide…felt like, at any second I was going to be stabbed or shot.  Just as I had that thought, a tiny man working behind the bar counter asked me, “What you doing here, GRINGO?”  I blinked to try to come up with an answer…all I could utter was, “Beer”. 

“Then sit down and Charla will bring you, BEER.  hahahaha”, the tiny bartender said.

“Thanks” I said as I sat down and realized I took another step further into Mexican shit. 

Then she came over.  This absolute stunning and I mean stunning woman.  I didn’t know what to look at first, her breasts, her mouth, her walk, here mane of hair…her, her…she was the whole package floating towards me like an Angel.  When she reached my table, she slammed a beer down and said, “Here’s your fucking beer asshole.”  Then she spat on me and walked away.  I didn’t know if I should watch her ass or the spit frozen on my shoulder.  I didn’t care much for the spit but I did care about the cockroach wiggling its tentacles on top of my beer.  I looked up and took in the atmosphere and sure enough, EVERYONE was watching my next move, with humongous smiles upon their round faces.  Sometimes in life, you need to get crazy and so I took the roach, stuck it in my mouth and chewed the crunchy goo that oozed itself around my tongue.

After dryly swallowing the insect, I grew in confidence and slowly stared into the eyes of the twenty sweaty Mexican men.  I took my beer and in one full gulp, drained the liquid inside.  “Ahhhhh”, I said.  I slammed a few bucks on the table, got up and walked out of the bar calmly.

Walking away I kept wondering where the hell that yellow dressed girl with the violet eyes disappeared to.  Was she the daughter of the sexy waitress?  Hmmm, I don’t know.

“Used” (drama) 2-3 Minutes

Photo Courtesy Arty Smokes

(lights up)

TIFF: Ifff you don’t insert yourself inside of me, I swear to God I will speak to your wife about us. (pause.) If you think you can just fuck me and toss me aside like I’m some random piece of ass, you have another thing coming. NO MAN will ever treat me like that.  I want it TWICE!  You will take me again, right now and have your way with me.  (pause.) Stop looking like a scared little boy and take me.  (smacking him across the face)  You disgust me! You pig! You Goddamn PIG!  TAKE ME!! You grab me and take me! (as she rips her shirt open) TAKE ME!! (pause.) You are weak…you are human waste; pathetic whimpering FAG.  GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!! Get out! Get out! Get out!  Get out—now! (she cries alone — takes a seat — long pause — to herself) Animal—sick, sick—animal…I will burn his life; I will burn, burn, burn his life. (long pause — she jumps up and runs to open front door)  (calling out) JAKE!  JAKE! JA— (she slams door shut and grabs her cellphone) Son of a bitch–answer! Answer…(sighs)…(leaving message) Jake, it’s me — look, I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. I don’t, I didn’t mean to get angry like that.  Look I, you can’t make someone like me feel used…I thought I was—thought we shared passion—(sighs)—I just, I’m all discombobulated about this–please, come back.  Please, come back Jake.  I’m so sorry. I know I said some things but I was angry Jake.  You know I was just angry.  Okay?  Alright?  Can we be friends again, Jake?  Can we—(phone cuts out)  Damn it!!! (she calls him again — he answers) JAKE! Hey, it’s me, I just left you—(she listens — trying to get a word in) But! You!  —N!—I—You! Hel—Hello?! Hello??!!  (she calls him again) Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on…(she gets his voice message) Shit! (she leaves message)  Now you listen to me you son of a bitch!  I will cut out your heart and feed it to your children—Do you HEAR ME?!?!  I will destroy youuuuu!!!!!!!!!!! (she throws phone — stares out in a daze for twenty seconds)

(lights out)

“Art of Balance” (drama) 1 Minute

Photo Courtesy TRICKY

 

KANJI:  …You hear your inner voice but see in your mind’s eye, white smoke…(pause) Long time ago, your great ancestor Yuzuki Takeshi, come back from battle, sword give him fatal wound; lived long enough to travel back to give family final message; when he arrived, he spoke of not having proper balance of sword…he died; left behind valuable lesson…”in order for one to obtain full balance of oneself, one must see clearly with both eyes”…(beat)…You have not been seeing clearly with both eyes.  Sometimes you see too clearly, sometimes you see white smoke…one must learn to balance, balance; consistently and then you can take next step towards your spirit’s desires.

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