In this monologue, Roy talks to his girlfriend about how she never apologizes when she’s wrong.
ROY: You know where I’m sending you? To apologize school. That’s right. God forbid you apologize when you are wrong. It’s torture for you, isn’t it? The words, I’m sorry, don’t exist for you. You need to fix that.
If such a thing as an apology school ever existed, like an eight week course, I would send you. I would. Then at the end of your eight week course, I will take you away with me, let’s say somewhere like Hawaii. You think I’m joking? I’m serious. I would love to go to Hawaii with you for like a month. It would be great and we can make lots of babies.
But seriously, learn to say the phrase, it won’t kill you and it will make me feel a lot better about things. If I can apologize and own up to my wrongs, so can you sweetheart.
Like the time you spilt sauce on my lap when you made dinner. I never got an apology. Or the time when you maxed out my credit card. No apology. Or what about the time you gave my car a fender bender. Nothing, no sorry, no nothing. I’m not mad at you for being the way you are but it would be nice if you were a bit more receptive to acknowledging when you are wrong because I think it would not only make me feel better but it would make you feel a whole lot better also.
Don’t you think you should try to change that? Not only for us but for you as a person? We all make mistakes sweetheart, none of us are perfect.