“Radiation” (comedy) 1 Minute

March 10, 2010 by The Monologue Blogger

Filed under 1 Minute Monologues, Female Monologues - Comedy, MB Library

Photo Courtesy Mr. Moog

AMY: What do you see when you look? Bad, right? How much? How much radiation? Bad for you, right? Bad. Too much. Too much radiation. My son. He buy computer. I don’t like. Too much radiation. How I find out, huh? How I find out how much radiation? Huh? You know? Where do I go? BESTABUY? YEAH? Orrrrrrrrr, P.C. Richard? YEAH?! I go. Ask them. They don’t want to say. Nobody tell me, how much radiation. I ask. Nobody wanna say. They scared. My son buy cellphone. You know how much radiation? How much? I don’t like it. Everybody talk talk talk talk talk talk talk. Yackiddy Yack, talkiddy talk. Radiation. Too much. Too much. How you see? How you see on that screen? So small? Less radiation. My son, he buy BIIIIIIIG computer with BIIIIIG screen. Too much, tooooo muuuuuuch. Radiation. You find out for me? You call me tomorrow.

(she writes down her number on a piece of paper)

You call me. You tell me. Name is AMY. You call, ask for AMY. I pick up. No. You call me. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Okay? YEAH! Okay. Too much radiation. I don’t like. I don’t like.

(she exits)

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“Creature Living In My Butt” (comedy) 1 Minute

March 2, 2010 by The Monologue Blogger

Filed under 1 Minute Monologues, Female Monologues - Comedy, MB Library

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Photo Courtesy CDN SUE
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JACKIE: “Come on!” is what I’m saying! How many times do I have to tell him, REALLY Anna, REALLY?! I love the guy but he’s too much…clingy is not even the word…he is like a creature living in my butt…I know that sounds harsh, doesn’t it? It does right? Rig–I’m–come on though Ann, Anna, I can’t move out of bed without him being stuck on me worse than Velcro; like I have to tear myself away from his hold. I even tell him to his face, I say,”Will, you need to step off a bit and let me breathe. I can’t move one inch without you being there like some dumb happy little doggy”. He is! He is! He’s like a puppy ready to jump for a biscuit. (beat) What do I do? I love him like crazy but it’s so annoying…to even come here, he was like, “You want me to meet you, I can meet you, do you want me to meet you?” I was like Noooooooooo. I’ve been nice about it, I yelled at him; what’s the next step? Going to my mothers for a weekend??? Ridiculous, isn’t it?

(her phone rings)

LOOK, that’s him now! He’s calling me now! (she saddens) I don’t know if I can be with someone like this…he was always a bit clingy but this is on another whole new level. I thought that when we moved in together, we would have more time four ourselves since we see eachother every single day but I think I was wrong. He’s way too much.

Let him leave a message, I don’t care, I don’t care. I’ll call him when we are done chilling out. What do you think I should do with him??

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