Little Critters

In this monologue, Sarah is doing her “data entry” work at her job. She sits in her tiny cubicle when she notices a bug moving on top of her keypad. To say that she is scared of bugs is a huge understatement. She is petrified of bugs.

SARAH: Oh!!! Oh!!!! Oh God! Shit…

(touches keys on keypad to kill the bug)

Oh! Oh! Ah hah! I got it. I got you sucker. X marks the spot right on the letter h.

(beat)

I think…Did I kill you?

(she takes her keyboard and begins to shake it above her head. The bug comes out and lands in her left eye)

Oh! Oh! Oh! It’s in my eye. Oh! Oh! Oh!

(she rubs her left eye)

(she looks at her hand, sees the dead bug and screams)

Ahhh!

(to herself)

I’m freaking out. Oh God.

(to herself)

Sarah, get a grip of yourself! It’s just a bug, get a grip. Just a little slimy, fury, gross creature.

(sighs)

(She grabs a tissue from her pocket book. She holds her breath as if she were about to go under water. She slowly lifts the bug up from the floor with the tissue and calmly throws it in the trash can)

(Sarah lets out an enormous burst of air)

Ah! Whew! I did it! I did it! Hah! Yeah, who is the woman now?! Yeah! Whew!

(sighs)

(she goes back to typing with her computer after briefly looking around for more bugs)

Okay…back to work.

(notices a bug on her computer keypad)

Joseph Arnone

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