My Wife Is A Porn Star

In this monologue, Billy talks to a guy he just met at a horse betting track.

BILLY:  My wife is a porn star.  So what?  It doesn’t bother me none to see other guys bang her out.  No really, it doesn’t.  I kind of got over the whole thing to be honest with you.  I got over it the day I opened up one of her checks in the mail.  That kind of made me realize that there was nothing to get upset about.

Really, what would you do?  Picture it.  You have one of the hottest, sexiest women on the face of the planet in love with you and she is bringing in tons of money every month.  Would you walk away from that?

(beat)

Morals?  What morals?  Are you nuts?  Forget morals.  Listen, the black guy with the big dick can do whatever.  Flip her this way, that way, against a tree, on a car, on a roof, slap her around a lil’ bit.  Don’t matter.  You know why?  Cause 1.7 million dollars a year says, “SURE, WHY NOT?”

Joseph Arnone

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