Where’s My Lasagna?

In this monologue, VITO talks to a recruit about having someone removed.

VITO: Listen to me Paul, if he’s the kind of guy that will continue harassing you after you’ve already squared things away with him then let me know and I will take care of it.  You’ve been going on about this guy for months now and to be honest, it’s gotten to the point where even I want to take care of it, just because.  I feel like I know this piece of shit personally and I’m tired of hearing you complain about him.  Just tell me one time if he steps out of line and that’s it, alright?  One time and don’t keep it from me cause I’ll know. One time and it will be arranged.  Capiche?  (beat)  What’s a matter? Why you look so concerned for his well being now?  Huh?

You know…some guys do all the talking and they say this, they say that but they never back it up like…other guys, they don’t say one word and things get handled…you seem to talk too much and when push comes to shove, you kind of sort of seem a little bit of a bitch.  Now listen, don’t get your feathers all straight, what I’m saying is that I don’t think you have the balls to see the guy disappear.

Do you or not?

Here’s the thing about it though, Paul…he’s gone.  Okay?  …He’s already gone. That’s it.  He took a permanent vacation down in San Jose and that’s it now. You know why? Cause I don’t want to hear you complain about it anymore.  Capiche?  So, from now on, I don’t want to hear one more fucking word about this asshole ever again in my presence because there will never be a reason for you to mention him ever again.  And if you do, I kid you not, you will join him.

Alright, so, where’s my lasagna?  How long I gotta wait over here?

Joseph Arnone

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