3 Secret Ingredients

In this monologue, The Player gives advice to his friend about women.

THE PLAYER: Every girl I’ve ever met wants the same thing. They want the three ingredients. Do you know what the three secret ingredients are???

It’s time, money and laughter…Every woman wants you to spend quality time with them. They all want you to ask how their day was. They all want to engage in boring conversation and as long as you nod your head up and down like a puppy dog, you pass the eye of scrutiny. Understand, it’s time INVESTED in THEM. That’s when you are in the safe zone. That’s the time of acceptance to a woman. They need to feel important.

Money. Every woman wants to go on vacation and be taken out for dinner, they want to feel secure, safe. You have to have bank to give them the world. Because that’s what they really want. They may say, “No dear, it’s okay, we’ll just stay home and watch a movie.” It’s bullshit, it will only go so far before they start tapping their foot on the floor claiming, “We never go out!”. Be sure to make your bread, Jack!

Laughter.  Every woman likes a funny dude. If you make a woman constantly laugh, she will always like you. I’m not saying she will always love you but at least she will always like you. That counts when she goes and tells her friends what a loser you are because it will save you from being completely destroyed. I’m telling you. Learn some jokes, act like a damn idiot if you must. Whatever it takes to make her smile.

If you can accomplish those three things with a woman, you will be a happy man.

Joseph Arnone


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