4:20 Monologues

Today we have 10 audition monologues if you are going up for a pot head type of character.  Most are comic but some are also dramatic smoke it up monologues.

  1. Crazy Sexual Pleasure (comedy) – STONER BOY: It tastes like shit bro…it does, it does.  Yo, every time I smoke Dan’s weed, it makes me pass out for like three hours at a clip.  Okay?  I can’t smoke that shit anymore.  Not HIS shit, not Dan’s shit.  He fucked up my whole month man.
  2. Public High (comedy)  – No, I just feel like…you see that old lady over there sweeping her driveway.  The one dressed in all black?  The one who looks like she’s been in morning for the past twenty-five years?  Yeah.  She’s staring at me funny.  Don’t look!  Don’t look!  Shhh!  Shhh!  Shhh!  Just be cool man.  Please, oh God.  Just walk natural babe, come on. The lady in black was peering at me, like she had something EVIL on her mind about me.  Like she knows I’m soooo stoned babe and she had anger in her eyes babe.  Walk fast!  Walk faster!
  3. Quitting Time (drama)  – SELENA: I need to stop smoking pot.  Too much.  It leaves me feeling depressed for a few days afterwards.  Not good.  It’s not even fun anymore, really.  Sort of gotten played out.  I feel like it slows me down for the week if I party with it all weekend.   I get tired and cranky and just feel all blah.
  4. And Then I Got High (comedy) 1 Minute – COMPUTERS!  Aren’t computers a great invention?  I mean come on, really.  Amazing.  I can’t imagine what I would do if I lived during the neanderthal days.  I mean, no way.  I would just roll up in a ball in my cave and cry my eyes out.  Can you imagine what people smelt like back then?  Oh, the women of those days,  tragic, just tragic.  I mean, how did people have sex?  How did they wash themselves, in lakes or something?  Did they know to even stay clean?  Whew!
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