A Series of Insignificant Questions

In A Series of Insignificant Questions, TANYA interviews someone for a position in the company she works for, with no intention of hiring the person.

Tanya:  Hi, it’s so terrible to meet you, please, sit down, sit down…so, I make no apologies for giving you the run around.  At first, I really wasn’t that interested in you.  Still not.  Your resume is doo-doo for lack of a better word and there are so many other people way more qualified than you.  But you are so persistent, like stalker psycho persistent, so, we have to watch out for the crazies!

(she laughs with a snort)

For the record, we have security cameras on you as you can see.  (points to four corners of the room)

That’s just for my safety, incase you are a genuine psychopath.  Oh, and this pen also functions as a knife.

So!  We are meeting together, now, to get you over with and out of the way forever and ever because I really have no heartfelt intentions of ever hiring you but I have to conduct this interview because it comes with my job description as manager, besides it makes me look professional and busy to my boss.

If I don’t look professional and busy, boy oh boy, let me tell you, that’s a cat we don’t ever want to let out of the bag, believe you me.

(she laughs with a snort)

So!  I’m going to ask you a series of insignificant questions, questions that really don’t mean a damn thing for you or me or anyone in the world…I’ll nod and shake my head as you answer.  I’ll narrow my eyebrows and occasionally smile to show some sort of falsified interest.  But trust me when I tell you, I could freaking care less.  Okay?  Okey, dokey.

Shall we begin?

Joseph Arnone


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