All Night Giggles, a comic script with 2 men, 20’s. A beautiful woman walks by Chris and leaves the apartment. Chris stares at his friend Martin who smiles.
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All Night Giggles
Martin: You like that?
Chris: You’re a real prick, you know that?
Martin: Uh, I didn’t know that.
Chris: You are.
Martin: Ooookay. Can I ask you what’s so prickish about me?
Chris: Prickish? I’ll tell you what’s prickish. First of all, every girl I talk to when we go out, you have your big fat face barging in.
Martin: I thought I was your wing man!
Chris: Wing man? Since when does the wing man scoop down and swipe away the chick? What kind of wing man is that? You go from wing man to pilot. How many girls have you taken from me?
Martin: I have no idea.
Chris: Because it’s that many. How can anyone keep count? Last night I was hot on that girl and once again, you come in all smiley and charming and snatch her right from my hands.
Martin: It’s not my fault she was feeling me.
Chris: No one asked you to come waltzing over to my conversation with her. Why did you butt in? Did it look like I needed help?
Martin: Look man, I came over, just being nice and then she gave me the eye, alright?
Chris: Eye? What eye?
Martin: The eye bro. She gave me that look (he demonstrates how the girl gave him a flirtatious eye wink) and how can I deny a woman what she wants?
Chris: You’re a putz.
Martin: What can I say? I’m a sucker for gorgeous eyes.
Chris: When I talk to a girl, stay far away. I mean, not even on the other side of the room, just leave.
Martin: You’re being stupid now.
Chris: What about that girl from Italy? The one with the legs that went on for miles.
Martin: She was unbelievable.
Chris: What about the girl from the Philippines?
Martin: How adorable was she?
Chris: And what about the one from Tokyo?
Martin: I like foreign girls man. I have a weakness for Asians.
Chris: I’ll let the Asian one slip cause I know about you and your thing for Asian women—but what I’m saying is flick off.
Martin: Let me get this straight so I know not to screw things up for you anymore. When we all go out, you no longer wish for me to be your wing man?
Chris: No. You can be my wing man UNTIL I start talking to a girl. Once you see me engaged in conversation, flick off bro.
Martin: But how am I gonna know?
Chris: Are you dumb?
Martin: I’m saying, how am I gonna know that it’s reached the stage of conversation for me to bounce?
Chris: Look. (showcasing) “Oh, yeah, reminds me of the time my friend Paul crashed that keg on his foot.” She laughs, you LEAVE.
Martin: That is so confusing. Here’s my issue. Most always when we approach women and we start talking, they usually give me vibes.
Martin: Yeah man. Their body language says, “Talk to me.” So I talk to them.
Chris: But how do you know for sure that they aren’t sending me the vibe and you’re just stealing my vibe?
Martin: Well, how can you be so sure about it?
Chris: Look man, you need to share.
Martin: I get it. This is so stressful.
Martin: Yeah, man. I didn’t sign up for this shit. I just want to be young and live my life.
Chris: I have no words for you.
Martin: I’m just trying to have fun.
Chris: Don’t even try to turn this around.
Martin: There needs to be a solution.
Chris: Dude, I told you the solution. Just let me get some once in awhile. You can still go around being the lousy dog you are but on certain nights step off my plate and let me hook up. Like what I’m asking of you.
Martin: Just thinking about it is cramping my whole style. I don’t know.
Chris: You don’t know what?
Martin: I don’t know man! I don’t know how to not get a girl.
Chris: Wow. You have to have the biggest ego I’ve ever encountered. You are fat with arrogance.
Martin: I’m just saying—
Chris: I’m just going to go out with the crew without your ass.
Martin: You can’t do that.
Chris: Yeah, well, I am.
Martin: Don’t matter. Do what you want. I have shit lined up for weeks.
Chris: Do you? Yeah? Oh, I guess your just THE MAN ain’t ya? The man with the inflated ego of God and whatever the hell that means.
Martin: Alright, relax. You’re getting yourself so worked up its comical.
Chris: So now I’m comical, right? I’m a riot!
Martin: Just get better at your game. That’s the real problem. If you had a stronger game bro, you’d be smashing. You’re not cause you’re a corn ball.
Chris: Dude, girls talk to me man.
Martin: Out of some sort of female civic duty.
Chris: Oh, bro, you’re really firing me up. I’ve landed a few deals, okay?
Martin: Only cause I passed up on them if you want to know the truth.
Chris: Oooooh, I see. So you think that if we both went at a target that you would always come out the victor?
Martin: Come on, bro, you seriously asking me that? In my sleep. I don’t even have to be at the club. I can get a girl from facebook live streaming that shit.
Chris: No way!
Martin: Yeah man, just put me on facetime or something and I bet I close the deal.
Chris: You want to make a bet?
Martin: Listen, you already lost. I’ll tell you what, go out with the crew, I’ll stay home one night and I bet you a hundred bucks that if you put me on facetime, I’ll land the deal over you.
Chris: That’s crazy, no way.
Martin: I don’t even have to be there.
Chris: Okay, deal.