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Bandanna Boy

In this serio-comic monologue Bandanna Boy, Miah is the proud owner of a Dunkin’ Donuts and he operates it with his family.  He talks to his daughter about a young guy who comes into the shop often.  Miah doesn’t like the way his daughter has been flirting with this young man and he puts his foot down.

He wears a dark auburn donut making apron.  He speaks with a heavy Indian/American accent.

MIAH: Do you see that?  Hmm?  Him.  That guy who comes in here with the bandanna.  Him.  Whenever he comes in here, he stares at your rear end.  I don’t like that, this is Dunkin’ Donuts, staring at rear ends is not permitted.  I don’t like it, you are my daughter.  I didn’t open up a bar, I opened up a donut shop and I still must see this?

I don’t like it.  He comes in here with his bandanna and his big fat smiley face and he talks to you.  I see, I see his charms.  The way he orders his coffee and munchkins is like he is asking you out on a date.  No, no!

No, no!  I don’t approve.  No bandana gangsters in our family.  Look what happened to Uncle Dumar, remember?  No, no.  We left all that for better life here, in Queens.  Better life here for family.

Please, stay away from bandanna boy.

(beat)

I don’t want anything to ever happen to you.  Please, listen to your father and stay away from him.  There are many better fish in the sea dear.  Many better!  Don’t waste your time.  You work here, go to school and find a good man.  Not a gangster wannabe tough boy.

Joseph Arnone

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